Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML
Today, my mother screamed at me because she thinks I peed on the toilet seat. Not my dad, me. I’m a girl. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML
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Top comments
bennyboy111 7
what will red meat do?
btnhdude 0
it will make fun of the blood and make it feel bad about being a liquid, causing blood type OwNed 2, it's really not a rare blood type but I don't have it.
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Comments (94)
redbluegreen 41
HOW DARE YOU USE THE WORD 'PROCEEDED'?! I hate you, OP.
Sparx1_1 16
I'm in BC too and it is illegal in Canada here for any teacher to prevent a student from going to the bathroom. Your mom should be making a formal complaint to the principal if the teacher is unwilling to allow bathroom breaks.
allmidnighteyes 11
"Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin 'cause I use super jumbo tampons... but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set ******...!"
GarryG 0
I'm from Vancouver :)
munkee_6669 0
YDI because your snatch bleeds shove a newspaper in that thing and quit bitching.
doctor_J 0
(Homer's voice) mmmmm heavy menstrual flow *gargle gargle*
wellardgerrard 0
ha you said math. it's maths as you do the math several times making it plural you fail...
AAShah 0
My friend once said: Women are super heroes because they're the only creatures who can bleed for 7 days straight and not die. Hahahaha You are then, the most powerful of them all
Ammontou 0
In America, it's just math. Not maths. Not plural. And OP, I'm sorry hun. That sucks.
onyx11310 0
that is exactly why u dont go to those