Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a coffee on my way to work and put it in the cup holder. At the next red light, I noticed it was empty. I'd apparently forgotten to put the lid on. My passenger seat was covered in coffee. FML
Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML
Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML
Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my Stanley mug of coffee. Halfway to work, I took a big swig only to realize I had grabbed my son’s thermos of chicken noodle soup, which I then spat out. My car now smells like a deli, and I'm still uncaffeinated. FML
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
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Top comments
Jacquie_lynn 0
I feel there's almost a part missing in the fml, what you have you're only setting it up, you should've had at the end "Guess which one I drank from"
xSwag5 0
I hate people who can't punctuate. I hate people who don't know the difference between there, they're, and their. That being said, smoke a few packs a day, no one will miss you.
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Comments (94)
jpqm32 3
Dont smoke and this would never have happned.
ecascio2010 9
So you accidentally drank the one with the ash in it? You don't really say what happened in your fml so be more clear next time.
iwasborn_naked 14
ydi for being a grub!
CheesyFan20 14
Moral: don't smoke
XboxOneGodess 8
Always happens to me...
Liamj774 36
Well smoking is much worse than drinking cigarette ash.
Pingvinai 37
Why is everyone all high on their horses judging smokers? Honestly. Not smoking doesn't make a person any less of an ass.
ghostriley 14
Man that sucks Ashe taste real bad I've done the before with cans of coke
MozillaHostile 21
FML should have said "I smoke. FML."
JustMe31412 2
As somebody who has accidentally drank from a cup that had ashes & cig butts in it, that's gross.