Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML
Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me a "controlling, overbearing psychopath." What did I do? I found out her best friend is trying to persuade her to cheat on me and I demanded she cut her friend off. I'm better off single, I know, but it still hurts. FML
Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML
Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML
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Top comments
muhaidib 2
Wow, I think you might need to look for another crush...
skinthesnakes 6
she now has 3 reasons not to ever make a joke about you again.
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Comments (152)
xkristinannx 0
I would have done it on purpose.
lifeisasillygame 2
Good Job! i dont think it was wrong i think its what she got its called karma and she gotta :) way to go!
mytimeallthetime 0
That bitch deserves it...! Next time slap her ass
WhatEverWilliDo 0
I would of done the same thing!! Or sh'd 'accidently' trip and chip her teeth or break her nose!!!
KingdomOfAnarchy 14
Holy shit, the people comenting are ******* insane 0.o How can people think she desveres it? I feel bad for you OP though, even if you did it by accident your chance with your crush is proberbly non-existing by now :/
CzechIsBack 15
So your crush has a girlfriend, who tells a joke involving you - then you break her fingers. Yeah, psycho is about right on many levels
ItsJustMe1616 26
Thank you! After reading all the comments everyone is supporting OP, but really, OP is creepin on someone who is takin already... I was beginning to feel like I was the only person to notice this...
frank_b102 9
I guess you could say that she "crushed" that joke...
FarFromHome_fml 17
Sounds to me like your crushes girlfriend knows you have a crush on her partner. It's not a nice situation to be in so maybe cut her a little slack? She should be doing the same for you, though.