Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML
Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
EffYoLife 14
well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)
EmmjayHEY 0
smooooooth
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Comments (102)
CrysGom 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow you know how to keep secrets!!!
RoxiLady 10
Thats not a secret you keep!
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would not be surprised at all that if the girlfriend benefited financially from her boyfriend's promotion, she would not mind HOW he got it. She's so mercenary she just wants her man to get ahead, so to speak.
Alanber92 5
This is the first time I've seen Perdix's comment buried due to negative votes....
Ms_ValS 27
Apparently girls don't care as long as you give her money. One problem. She's the committed gf not your local hooker.
Life_is_FML 22
I'm sorry but if my boyfriend had sex with someone else regardless of who they were I'd be a little pissed. OP didn't really deserve it for being truthful
michelleJ11 25
You know something is terribly wrong when people take perdix seriously ...
omghehehe 0
:) nice!!! what happened after?? did u go after for the kill?
kindness 0
um. how is that FYL? how about FYL for being such a pathetic creep and not being honest with his poor girlfriend.
cmac86 24
not your fault. completely his fault fr sleeping around.
FromCFL 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FYL indeed for proving yourself to be unworthy of trust among your (ex-, hopefully) friends.
michelleJ11 25
Are you serious? If my friend cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend, I'd try to convince them to tell their partner or I'd tell them.
Nailbunny 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
f his life for having a dumbass friend like you
Luunatic 13
Or maybe FHl for being a cheater....
perdix 31
Funny, it's usually the subordinate who has to take dictation.
RIKANA 0
oh dear, sometimes it's best to keep quiet. then again it hard not to... RI
ClownSmilely 0
methinks I would do for no promotion. everybody loves a clown