Miscellaneous: Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left,...

By Pancakegirl - 18/06/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

agreeclassic 46 866

vote type 1 4 058

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By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 00:11 - Canada

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

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By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

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Nice guy

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 04:00 - Canada - Baddeck

Today, while working a night shift completely alone at a truck stop, a trucker asked me to get in the shower with him for a "funner night shift", and threw his towels and clothes at me when I told him no. FML

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By nowimbroketoo - 22/07/2013 17:47 - Australia - Beaumaris

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

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Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

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By D - 04/12/2011 07:46 - United States

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

agreeclassic 34 683

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By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

agreeclassic 30 082

vote type 1 2 461

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

agreeclassic 13 445

vote type 1 52 240

1Tsk 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 9:37

did you do it?

speedmastaflex 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 9:44

Lol. Dude couldnt afford to take you to a motel?

Comments

katiokos 2

Friday 6 July 2012 5:39

ask for more money? then name urself dumpsta luv

staceejaxx 6

Monday 22 October 2012 17:37

Did u?

Ieri 31

Sunday 17 August 2014 22:00

42000 FYL 3555 YDI 100 comments! I feel so complete for making this, my life is so boring...

Bgasm 8

Wednesday 1 October 2014 4:35

lmao

wickedhyype 17

Sunday 30 August 2015 3:17

I would have checked to see if the hundred was real....

XXX_billy_XXX 9

Wednesday 4 November 2015 3:09

Did you say yes?

heatherrr17 19

Friday 1 July 2016 20:57

Lmao i actually thought he ment sleep out there becuase he was scared to sleep alone

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Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

agreeclassic 44 255

vote type 1 6 085

Why isn't it ready yet? Let me at it!

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Today, my husband forgot to log out of his laptop. Out of curiosity, I checked what was on the screen. It turns out he has his own blog where he shares all the intimate details about our sex life. FML

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Today, my temporarily unemployed husband had a brain wave. I'm five months pregnant and we have a 4-year-old. He thinks we should start a family vlog on YouTube, so we can get rich. I hate those awful family vlogs with a passion. FML

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Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML

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Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML

agreeclassic 1 782

vote type 1 833

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Nice guy

Consider the offer

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