Today, I was eating pizza and I started bitching about how our campus doesn't have any healthy food choices, and that I was forced to eat this disgusting, greasy pizza. My friend then pointed out that I was standing next to the salad bar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML
Fake it til you make it
Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML
Hangry
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
Mixed signals
Today, I got told I was too fat and needed to stop eating, because I need to lose weight. I was then given a full plate of food and had to eat it all. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Give me a break
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Picky
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
All you can eat buffet of shit
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Top comments
JuliaKay14 33
My campus had a few healthy options but the healthier foods were lacking in quality so people didn’t eat them much
RichardPencil 32
Good pizza is heavenly. There is such a thing as bad pizza. I hope you never suffer it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
JuliaKay14 33
My campus had a few healthy options but the healthier foods were lacking in quality so people didn’t eat them much
James Wise 1
just you describing pizza as "Disgusting greasy pizza" got me pissed. pizza is heavenly
TomeDr 25
99.99999% of the time, that’s true. I have, however, been subjected to some truly nasty pizza.
RichardPencil 32
Good pizza is heavenly. There is such a thing as bad pizza. I hope you never suffer it.
Sonotsuave 37
That I think is an issue for most campuses. Our campus finally brought better options after getting a lot of feedback from students. I dealt with it by eating salads or soup more and saving some money for veggies and groceries.
Mathalamus 25
Eh. Salad bars aren't much better, with all the dressing
julfunky 29
Here’s a crazy thought: use less dressing.
evilplatypus 39
I gotta agree. There’s only so much salad you can eat. If that’s the only healthy option, that really sucks.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you can't go anywhere to buy healthy food yourself, ask your parents to send you some fruit and veggies in a care package. Whether you pay them back for it is up to you.