Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
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Top comments
Yunie_fml 0
Stupid, but only because America can't take a joke anymore.
Warlock_fml 0
Yeah, it is stupid. Airport security has gotten way outta control. And studies show that we're no more safe now then we were before 9/11. All of this extra security is just to make white people feel safe(note: I am white and give a shit about airport security). The late great George Carlin has a great bit about airport security.
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Comments (63)
Claeric 0
I don't get people who say "You're really stupid" or are sarcastic or say "You deserved it." It's a freaking expression, people. No normal person stops to analyze what they're saying and where they are before spouting out a common expression. Get over yourselves- it's a reasonable accident.
y_2_me 0
i agree with #4 airport security has gotten stricter......don't make any jokes about guns, knives, bombs, poison, gas, etc. they take almost everything seriously now......
crayonnedmusic 0
NEVER say explode in an airport. Or any word that means harm. They take everything so serious now...
I_love_BOAD 0
Hilarious.
IngenuityGap 0
#22, Actually anyone with common sense would realize that those jokes became unacceptable in an airport, oh, about 8 years ago now.
chillbro69 0
i did this exact thing 2 summers ago. they were searching my carry on and i said "be careful, it might explode on you". obviously, i meant it because my bag was really full. immediately, i recognized my mistake, and explained to them it was a slip of the tongue and i meant no harm. he still made his friend unzip my bag though.
Curcolio_fml 0
I don't know, is it the same for you ? In France, we don't even have the right to bring anything that is liquid. Soap, Shampoo, and milk for the babies included... But I agree with #6. They're so annoying...
eeee93757 0
You should know better than to use the word explode in an airport...
lemmins 1
#7 just so you know it doesnt matter if its probable cause ur in an airport they can search you for just about anything. if u read the information on ur ticket or on that thing that says read the terms and agreements u basicly give up that right.
MukyDaCookie 0
Ah man I know how you feel, airport security is a joke nowadays. Why would someone packing a bomb, make a joke about it? It doesn't make any sense at all. I had an encounter like this, I went to visit some friends over the summer and after a crazy month of catching up, I packed my body spray, deodorant and hair gel in my carry on without the almighty plastic bag and so had all of them taken at Frankfurt. Not such a big inconvienience, but it was just annoying.