Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML
Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML
Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML
Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML
Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML
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Top comments
ohjessica 11
Yeah, that would help.
TheRealBruce 12
Oh noo!
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Comments (286)
bubo_fml 11
you're not a comic book super hero w/ x-ray vision...Try Madd magazine to find your true, inner cartoon character...
e2m2cent 0
not brightest crayon in the pack are you :) jk happens to the best of us..
sabresgirl249 0
Hahaha I've done something similar to that...hey sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself :)
roslene 0
well aren't you a smart cookie?(;
justanotherhuman 21
This... is a total facepalm. Not for the OP, but for the moderators. For the mechanics behind the moderation feature. For FML.com. Forgive me, but I think I just lost any semblance of faith in this site as far as the 'my life is ******-so-I'll-post-my-humiliation-on-the-internet', aspect goes. As in, there are *definitely* people submitting more ah... in-keeping-with-the-FML-theme posts that are honestly f'ed up stories; be them embarrassing, humiliating, maybe both- that aren't getting published, annnnnd we get this: the harrowing, and spanning-the-ages-tale of Kendal in Ontario's life being ******, because she didn't turn the oven on for her cookies. Which means that the majority of people moderating this read it, and said "yep. This is a life-******. Publish!" ...wtf?
outsidehitter7 9
Are u a retard?
kitty1033 5
You fail, op
TNBW74 2
Waterhead...
bubo_fml 11
Next time, try no bake?
bubo_fml 11
I always found the phrase, Betty Crocker "Ready to Spread" to be a bit suggestive, don't you think?