Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Stacy's mom has got it going on!
every1luvsboners 11
That's when you say "no shit, I've always had a thing for you. You won't walk right for two weeks after I get done with you." Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, play the odds. Be a man, damnit!!
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Comments (120)
Austyn57 1
ewwwwwww freakin gross man
scarllet13101 5
xD
BoratSagdiyev 2
Is mom hot too?
JoeGrant 12
You should have just looked into her eyes and said, "yes, yes I did."
Steve95401 49
MILF!!
amdolan 3
Fart on his face
winkydog4056 16
Did mom at the very least get a kick out of it!?
journeytotheend 16
You gonna recovered from that!!!! "Oh I thought it was a good way to break the ice"
JuuneeeeLove 2
Bad luck Brian
pdp_fml 21
Why not just apologize to her? That's what I would have done.