Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
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Top comments
bambiibee 0
Some people may not understand those words, because they may have never had to encounter it. I don't think you should be calling them morons for never using the words "Symposium" and "discussant" before.
Rupus 0
I didn't understand any of those words =/
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Comments (58)
casica 0
i didnt understand a word of that
IMz0r 0
Lol... okay. I've never been to a business meeting but off the top of my head: Symposium -- An organized meeting to discuss a topic Acquaintance -- A casual friend Discussant -- The leader of a conference, essentially a moderator Asshole -- You :P
Trix_Disorder 20
LOL, you have got to be kidding. Half of you need to get your ass off the internet, and read more. You know. BOOKS.
jadefire15 17
I read TONS of books. I used to read every day, well into the night. I used to read older books and books meant for adults (not sexual) and just books all around. I still read a lot. I had no clue what the synopsis or whatever was. Reading has nothing to do with it, because reading =/= experience
shutupashleyx3 0
most people on here aren't smart enough to know what the hell your talking about.
killing_word 0
This is the funniest shit I've read on this website yet. If there is a hall of fame put this one in! This made my day. symposium. ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha.
poorChoice 0
you should be a comedian, you're joke flows so well. listen bud, if you're going to tell a joke to the general public.. put it in layman's terms. The only thing you're doing by using those words is trying to make yourself sound smarter, which shouldn't be the main purpose here. Put you're thesaurus away please and stop wasting our time.
IMz0r 0
#36... actually a thesarus might have told him a synonym for symposium was "meeting" But stop bagging on the guy... half of you can't write either.
0mggirl 0
siop?
anonymousstudent 0
why dont you write out your "FML" in words so people can understand it...k thx bye
seamripper 0
Come on guys, dictionary.com if you're confused. OP, you gotta keep your professionalism up at work-related events. It's easy to get comfortable around people you see every day, but in the end, most of them will never be close friends. Better to play it safe than sorry.