Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
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Top comments
bambiibee 0
Some people may not understand those words, because they may have never had to encounter it. I don't think you should be calling them morons for never using the words "Symposium" and "discussant" before.
Rupus 0
I didn't understand any of those words =/
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Comments (58)
AntiChrist7 0
my god you are funniest person alive. next time you try to make a joke, make it a good one
marisaichiban 0
Wow, there are so many more important topics to be discussed. What a waste of a symposium.
softball10 0
YEA I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE AND SAY THIS IS A WASTE OF MY TIME READING IT AND THIS IS NOT AN FML AT ALL...
babydoll86_fml 0
Guess who the arsehole really is.
Ngood7 0
Why do so many people on this website have to point out that they're first? The fact that your comment is the first one makes it pretty obvious, don't insult my intelligence please.
drezman 0
You're #15.
BaldOuting 0
definitely deserved that - and definitely hilarious!
Seegtease 0
Why would you call somebody an asshole if you don't know who they are?
tehhotness 0
Dear FML users, Can we all start reporting these morons that type "first zomg 1!!111!!!". Unless youre under the age of 10, get a life
TidusBlade 0
Yeah a similar incident made me always keep in mind who I'm talking to nowadays, or just not say anything stupid :P Probably saved me a ton of embarrassment ;)
Rupus 0
I didn't understand any of those words =/