Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came, he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom." He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
I'm a bad person
Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML
Rowdy
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
Bad tipper, good shitter
Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
He's a good man
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Date night
Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML
Incomplete freedom
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML
Manly men fighting
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Top comments
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Considering you have to put up with that kind of embarrassment, I hope they DID give you a free meal.
XxDevilxXGt 26
I think you misread. No one is talking about a free medal. Meal*
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Comments (237)
nick2503 4
Get a real soldier as a boy friend lol
tyang3 1
I served in the Marine Corps for 7 years and retired medically. My biggest pet peeve are the men and women who believe that they have a "right" to discounts for their service. Be humble and take what is given, do not demand.
deepsouthrocker 3
I hate reading about these ******* paper pushing pogs in the military feeling like the world owes em something I call bullshit he won't see combat and never has. combat vets don't act like that and I didn't pay for my Purple Heart that's on individual units not man up you signed up to do what you did or do don't pretend like your something your not
deepsouthrocker 3
Coming from a real combat wounded combat veteran marine corps rifle team leader not everyone in the military is a ******* hero I've met some and it's a disgrace to your respective service to act so entitled
Just_Ya 16
Pog
cat2416 5
Everybody writing she should brake up with him and his alcoholic tendencies is stupid. He drank a bottle of wine on a night out, didn't realize, and got too drunk. Most people have got drunk in their life and it's not a huge deal. This man isn't an idiot or an alcoholic. I'm 14 and realize this.