Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML
Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML
Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML
Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
That bitch! I hate it when they spit it up instead of swallowing it.
emilyaust 8
you shouldve turned around, taken a drink and spat in her face. then you'd be even.
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Comments (88)
ninjanate 0
wow fyl. first
GavinRoskamp 0
Aren't you just special.
fendr 0
wow that sucks
MaCOOLiT 5
FYL OP. i would have made that bitch pay for it.
DjeePee 25
Oh yes, that woman was totally a bitch for being thirsty and laughing at a comedy club. She should die a long and painfull death!!! ... Honestly, I think that woman was embarrased enough for her unwillingly and uncontrollable spitting. The only thing you could blame her for is that she drank, and I don't know about you people, but I do that also sometimes. And when I drink, people shouldn't tell jokes. I won't spit, I will choke. Joyfull. But still, it was an accident, you can't blame the woman. Only morons wants to revenge an unlucky accident. I also don't blame OP. It was not a very bright idea to go out with an haircut that should stayed perfect till the other day. There are always risks, but hey, she wasn't expected them. Normally, nothing would have happened.
I_iz_special 0
I agree with 25. YDI for trying to keep your hair perfect.
Zealoushalfling 0
Not really... She just deserves it for being a complete retard and not realizing that there would be a pretty high risk of something falling into her hair, or something going in it if she went out apposed to staying in at home until the wedding.
sukaaa 0
wtf y did she do he hair the day before the wedding? pics or didnt happen
iSitt 0
so what REALY happens at a bachelorette party ?
hnz 13
fyl op! but who knows your hair might be more silky with the added ingredient
z620 0
why did you do your hair the day b4 the wedding when I wake up it looks crazy shoulda got it early the next morning
MissEmma_fml 22
oohhh unlucky. DX funny though :D
BakNBitz 0
rofl that's an awesome pic
emilyaust 8
you shouldve turned around, taken a drink and spat in her face. then you'd be even.
kahuna123 0
That suck. FYL
FYLDeep 26
That bitch! I hate it when they spit it up instead of swallowing it.
GavinRoskamp 0
Heh.
aardvarkish 17
Good call, Bro!
bigredmonkeybutt 30
lmao win
richard121212 0
ur pic is anti chafing powder logo
ninjanate 0
two things. how drunk was she. and that happens when something is that funny. like a cliche of milk coming out the nose. that happened with soda to me. it burnt. really bad.
TheShay 0
same here. X(
MissGrinch 4
Well, hmm, you see... ...oh, screw it. There is no point in saying something witty after #7.
FYLDeep 26
I know, I read all the comments before me and was like, "For real, no ones worked this angle yet?" I then wrote that shit as quickly as possible.
brittanystrachan 0
love your pic!!!
Juneyah1017 9
ydi for getting your hair ready the day before. being late is good luck didn't you know lol
brennboo 3
yeah why would you get it done the day before? sleep messes up hair...
xStiina 0
that's just screwed up.