Matthew
United States
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
phansmootchie
United States
On the hook
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
MadameM
United States
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
FailedEngineer
Australia
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
yuuupyup
Somerset, United States
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Anonymous
Royersford, United States
Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML
Anonymous
Belgium
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
artmfanforever
United States
Today, I locked myself out of my car. While walking home to retrieve the spare, I realized I locked my house keys inside the house this morning. Now I must decide whether to break into my house or car. FML
ABBenzin
United States
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
Jason
United States
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
I thought I was the only one who used that excuse...
i_amthe_walrus 0
Sorry to interrupt your very interesting conversation about how to spell a word in which I am unaware of the definition but has anyone seen my chap stick? It's blue.. Anyone?
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Comments (126)
ohwellwhyme 2
Today, I was really excited to see that an FML had 0 votes and no comments, so I finally made an account. By the time I made one, a million people had already commented. FML
unhappybitch 8
Ohh I feel bad for you, you want a cookie?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Post the FML to be moderated. Don't comment it...
dirtyfivethirty 0
I have to break in to my apartment all the time! And it's right on the street, I hope that doesn't happen to me!
daboss85 4
Wow dude dumb haha
cheeseboy77 0
this is why I have a key maker make me thousands of copies. one for every pocket,compartment and doormat I own. this way I never get locked out. don't blame me if you have unexpected visitors inside. carrying firearms...
mesbah021 1
Ydi. For. Being human.
bananagrams 9
Shut. Up.
mesbah021 1
Ydi. For. Being human.
SirCuDi 9
When I lose my key my girlfriend bitches at me
Ray_of_midnight 23
No kidding...this happened in Cambridge, Mass., to an African-American professor at Harvard University who was breaking into his own house, and was subsequently arrested by the Cambridge P.D.
CallmeNighthawk 3
wear a copy around your neck like an epileptic sufferer so then you never lose it.
sexxililwolf 5
When I forget my key I call someone or quickly go in the window in pitch dark lol
jwade11 12
Hey, read your profile. Nice to meet a chick w a similar sexual orientation! Pretty eyes! ;-)