Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML
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Top comments
acow 0
Wow, your girlfriend sounds like a wonderful person. Maybe you should find someone who is capable of empathy.
potentpotable 0
Should've called her a couple of hours later asking her to run to the store to buy you some condoms because you were about to partake in a threesome with two hot blonds.
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Comments (208)
dantheman_fml 0
cockslap her.... its the only way to get your manhood back
audiogasmic 0
Obviously she's a callous, inconsiderate bitch and you should dump her. On the bright side you now know what kind of person she is. :)
polki 0
i like her...ur the ****** one!
dreams_infinity_fml 0
dump that bitch
Hacksaw 4
Kick that bitch to the curb.
frankenberry333 0
dude kick that bitch to the ****** curb
walkemskies 0
dump her lol #150 just copied #149
frankenberry333 0
dude kick that bitch to the ****** curb
shadow_moses 0
call her and tell her you need a woman who isnt a skanky ho and hang up
rbick 0
Get rid of her. She is a pathetic **** for pulling something like that. If she comes back trying to apologize, beat her ass so she knows better, and then dump her anyway.