Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML
Today, I dressed up as a ghost and walked down the street to meet my friends. A dog somehow got loose and decided my "flowy" costume was the perfect chew toy. I spent the evening dodging an overly enthusiastic dog and getting barked at. FML
Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
As long as no one who questions you is from the SPCA or the Humane Society, you won't have to put up with the well-deserved animal abuse investigation.
gracehi 33
"Two young too understand?" So, speaking of idiots...
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Comments (73)
CoconutOil 7
Loosen up the collar a little bit, and stop blaming your sister! :P
CoconutOil 7
Awwww, come on!! I thought that joke was funny!!! Purple dog?, suffocating dog?........ Loosen up the collar?.... No? Have you guys been injected with the Simon Cowell DNA? FML is tougher than the east side man!
absolutegrrr 7
The only thing less funny than your 'joke', is you explaining said 'joke' afterwards.
CoconutOil 7
So you do admit that the joke is funny and the explanation is just a little bit less funny? I can live with that ^_^
Jared900DUmpling 30
Im gonna go out on a limb and say that most people thought your joke was pretty bad, not funny.
shireman97 6
Does it look like Barney?
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
It's a dog, not a dinosaur.
kidepicfest 0
I don't see this as an fml at all. It's amusing. The dye will wash off. You get an interesting story.
dyero 0
Majior **** block lol
scrappy23 4
Cockblock because of a purple dog? yeaaaaaa
neilykins 29
This FML has nothing to do with sex.... Did you comment on the wrong one?
I_lost_the_game 25
This is for the FML with the kids at the drive-in theatre, isn't it?
lidsthesquid 4
I would have thought a purple dog would start a convocation, not be a "**** block" ^3^
spongeydude4 2
Wait, now avatar people are purple? Is there a sequel that i dont know or care about? And, is it just me or whenever someone says na'vi i think of link's fairy....
Schiffy 18
Glad I'm not the only one thinking LoZ here....
noelykins1 19
In school we learned if you take out a letter or change one it means god..
ali094king 4
45 - cool story bro. Tell it again
razbery_nerd 4
Yes I did aswell.. Im not alone! :D
william83_fml 1
That's funny
skyeyez9 25
The vet clinic where I bring my dogs has a multi colored maltese there. The vet tech brought her white maltese and it was fluorescent pink, blue, yellow and orange. She said her two young nieces decided to color the poor dog with markers when she went upstairs to take a bath. She had the dog shaved but you could still see some of the color.
SammyS2012 21
Once my mom took a market and colored a part of my Maltese blue because she was bored and wanted him to have some edge.
sugarbear0727 19
When me and my younger sister put red and blue in our hair a few years ago, she colored in the white spot on one of our puppies blue. We thought our stepdad would be pissed, but he just laughed and asked why we didn't do it to our other dog.
kennaem1 11
You should've put a link so we could see him!
nosferatu4444 10
you should be ashamed for leaving that poor dog with her:O
Spectre529 12
ugh... such a stupid movie >.<
florido_fml 10
Take that back!