What rubbish. Newsflash - not all men are rapists and not all women are delicate little flowers that need a knight in shining armour to rescue them.

#17, #12 didn't say anything about men. Or women. They said OP was the type of person to rush to 'someone's' aid. 'Someone' includes men. The fact that you feel the need to try and defend men when they weren't even mentioned really says something about you there...

OP completely violated two people's privacy because he doesn't know the difference between the sounds of sex and the sounds of physical abuse. The fact that the first thing he thought when he heard a bit of slaping was "Oh, my God Abuse! White Knight Activate!" shows that either he has lived a very sheltered life, belives that all girls need rescuing from their brutal oppressors or he was a little pervert looking for an excuse to cop an eye full.

#17 how did #12's comment even remotely imply that all men are rapists? If someone is in trouble and you can do something to help then you should, regardless of gender. You seem to be projecting your own twisted gender issues onto this situation.

Dude. I literally said nothing about gender. If a PERSON is obviously being overpowered by a PERSON OF ANY GENDER and needs help, the type of people that would help are good people. Chill.

Edit: I didn't mention rape either. "Rush to someone's aid," is an umbrella term.

some guys can hide violent tendencies really well, and or the girl could be have hard time talking about it. Sometimes its that one over heard incedent that saves someone from abuse.

A lot of abusers don't leave any signs of their abuse and can seem like genuinely nice, caring people. The victim typically doesn't say anything either out of fear or a belief that what's happening is their fault or, if the victim is a man, out of shame that "real men" aren't supposed to get abused by women. A lot of the time only people who are familiar with domestic violence with be able to pick up any cues. It's how a lot of them get away with it for so long.

yes actually. we have been friends forever and he has hit his current girlfriend a couple times. Not like a punch more of slap.

#68, I would talk to him about that. There is a chance that it could progress into something more serious- and, either way, he shouldn't be slapping her. I do need more context, though. Does she act physically violent toward him? Is this in self defense?

Keep having quiet sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation. I'm sure you will get lots of sympathy here when you post the inevitable FML about your partner cheating on you because they were sexually unsatisfied.

Yes 29 different positions and noise are exactly the same as rough sex you idiot at least the other response was an intelligent one.

#26 you are right about the noises I honestly didn't really think to compare the two. And I can agree it could be a very trusting or intimate experience to give up control to someone you love etc. I'm more concerned by the people who want their partner to give up control and not give it up themselves. Like I said I don't know personally I don't want that kind of control and I'm a worrier ha I would just be afraid it DID come from a negative past experience and wouldn't want to reinforce it.

I totally understand what you mean. Not so much wondering why people like the pain but being aggravated by being expected to "give up my body" I am not a toy, I am not something to be used, and I should not be expected to do things I'm not comfortable with just because. Now this is different than giving up your whole self on occasion to display your trust and have a nice time. Not all the time, though, then sex is just selfish and one sided.

24- It's just what gets some people going, and there's nothing wrong with that. Also I can tell you that it definitely doesn't necessarily "stem from a really negative place", some people just enjoy it. 59- That doesn't necessarily make sex "selfish". Some people enjoy being submissive while their partner enjoys being dominant. So what's wrong with having sex the way you like it, if it's not hurting anybody?

Well um the original point was for when it IS hurting somebody and I'm still completely against anyone who is in to causing their partner pain during sex which is completely different to someone who gives up control because they trust their partner. Just my naive opinion but sex should be because you love someone and it should be for intimacy and showing you care NOT to hurt them during it to get yourself off.

Some people just like pain during sex. That said, rough sex does not *have* to include pain if either party is uncomfortable with it. Before entering a Dom/sub relationship, each party discusses his or her likes and limits, and each is expected to respect those limits. My boyfriend and I prefer to have rough sex, and I hate receiving a lot of pain. It freaks me out so bad. It was something we had to figure out through trial and error, and when he went too far, he immediately stopped and helped me calm down. He has never knowingly violated my boundaries (I let him know if he doesn't realize it, and he respects it). It is always supposed to be consensual, and either party can withdraw consent at any time, just like in "regular" sex. It CAN be abusive if the Dom knowingly pushes the sub too hard (such as causing pain that the sub is actually seriously afraid of or that causes injury beyond what the sub can tolerate), but it is not inherently abusive, and if the Dom is administering pain, it is because it pleases the sub (unless it's a punishment *that the sub can tolerate* or the Dom is just abusive). So don't worry! It's supposed to be fun. There are a bazillion different ways to have rough sex, and for those who enjoy it, there is a way for both parties to get what they want.

95- Like 98 said, some people genuinely like to receive pain during sex. I agree that it'd be completely wrong to hurt someone against their will or to make someone do things they aren't comfortable with, but if your partner is completely consenting and enjoys it, what's the issue?

Liking pain during sex is called masochism. It's actually a very common thing

Why are you sorry? Little pervert got to voyeur on his room mates girlfriend in an intimate position.

It quite clearly states in the post that he didn't recognise the noise as that of sex. Yes, there are people out there that don't know what it sounds like, shock horror. Most likely he heard the repeated noises and his mind jumped to that, and wanting to help he barged in. Did you not read the FML? Saying he was a 'pervert' is completely untrue. He. Did. Not. Know. They. Were. Having. Sex. Got it now?

While I suppose sometimes the two could happen together do you honestly not understand the difference between passionate and rough?

Do you really think there is a difference between the two for some couples? He did not know that their was abuse going on either so he had no right to just barge in and see her at her most vulnerable sexually. Of course her right to privacy can be ignored because some loser wanted to be the hero.

Privacy vs safety really? You imbecile her embarrassment is unfortunate yes and no he should not get to see her that way without permission but if there had been abuse she might have needed a hand but no apparently you are too stupid to realize sometimes people need help regardless of if there may be some embarrassment to either party

My buddy ( room mate ) has a history of being violent in his relationships.