Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
Today, I found a baby squirrel on the pavement and thought I'd try and rescue it. While I googled what to do, it started running around. I tried to grab it, but it ran straight into the path of a car. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
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Top comments
TheBiggerBoot 7
You're an idiot. I'm sorry, but easily could have caused a wreck.
vgardner 7
Gotta play it off by picking it up anyway and gingerly setting it in the grass
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Comments (26)
TheBiggerBoot 7
You're an idiot. I'm sorry, but easily could have caused a wreck.
mfmylifesrsly 30
It could have been a not busy road..
hellobobismyname 24
16 - Doesn't matter. You never just scream at a driver. Even if there are no other cars, they could panic and veer off the road and either hit something or go into a ditch, etc. You can easily communicate to the driver in a calm, but urgent tone if you need to.
simpleasjam 5
It was a quiet road and I didn't scream in his ear in a distracting, crash causing manor.. more of a shriek
TheBiggerBoot 7
Doesn't matter, ever hear of single car wrecks? What may be a shriek to you could have startled him enough to run off the road. Stop trying to defend your irresponsible behavior.
tantanpanda 26
#23, I hate people like you who shriek in the car. Do you know how it feels for someone to shriek in the car? The driver thinks something major is wrong and you then cause them to panic. I don't drive one of my friends around anymore because she shrieked at stupid shit. If you want to throw yours and the driver's life away for some animal on the street (like that movie Beetlejuice) then be my guest.
simpleasjam 5
Not defending my "irresponsible" behaviour, just didn't appreciate you calling me an idiot. I did apologise to the driver and noted my carelessness for shrieking. Suppose you're perfect and have never made any mistakes? Well done, you deserve a medal.
PhoenixChick 26
"Today, I told the internet that I did something really really stupid. They said I was stupid. I got really offended. How dare they think I was stupid?"
Kirari13 3
There's no need for insults people. Y'all need to chill.
domolovesyoshi 33
I'm sorry but the life of a hedgehog is not worth more than the lives of others.
compensator 7
is it not worth the same as the lives of others?
RichardPencil 32
I disagree. I think most hedgehogs' lives are worth about the same.
ImagineCrazy 27
Your life doesn't mean anything to me, but I still wouldn't want to hit you.
brezzyanna 17
#15 He didn't say it's worth less, he said it isn't worth more. Better to hit the hedgehog than kill 2 people.
Catdragon 40
well duh, you said 2 people vs 1 hedgehog. It's funny how a human says humans are the most important species on the planet.
vgardner 7
Gotta play it off by picking it up anyway and gingerly setting it in the grass
TheySaidWhat 9
You really did go the whole hog though
ichivamp 9
Thank you for sharing this :'D
s0m3guy2010 21
You must have really been pining for that hedgehog to almost cause a crash and pull over. Furthermore, it made the driver leave his cone of comfort. What were you thinking?
RichardPencil 32
You should have wrapped the pinecone in your coat and ordered the taxi driver to rush the hedgehog in shock to an emergency animal hospital. You'd save face and probably get a free cab ride.
Lalala579121 28
Maybe OP remembered that FML about the mom hitting the dog and panicked. Also hedgehogs are better and cuter than humans.
captain_hero89 22
the pinecone is going extinct. you're a hero
ztodaro 25
can somebody inbox me? my profile isn't acting right and FML support is responsive. I need help. please and thanks in advance