Miscellaneous: Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to...

snappyPi 28 January 2011, 06:21

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

142 comments

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

bad poet 2 December 2013, 01:57 Millerton, United States

National bard

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

101 comments

Briscuit 5 December 2013, 00:00 Pitt Meadows, Canada

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

60 comments

Anonymous 1 June 2013, 11:43 Quakertown, United States

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

68 comments

Jack 9 August 2016, 00:23 Asheville, United States

Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML

15 comments

Alisha 7 August 2012, 18:04 Fredericksburg, United States

Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML

128 comments

Anonymous 11 March 2023, 20:00 Seattle, United States

Everyone's a critic

Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML

3 comments

lizbeth 23 May 2021, 04:01

Anaconda

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

1 comment

yingyang2 6 January 2011, 02:19 United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

85 comments

gloria77 23 January 2012, 23:26 United States

Lame

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML

112 comments

Poem 19 December 2009, 04:29 United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

73 comments

RinnieRiot 9

28 January 2011, 12:30

Welcome to the real world.

spikey818 9

28 January 2011, 12:15

you have a nice mom

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