Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter thought it was funny that the chicken on her plate and chickens on farms are called the same name. I had my mouth full so I couldn’t stop my rotten eldest son from saying, “That’s because chicken is dead chickens.” Cue her crying while my son cackled like a sociopath. FML
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML
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Top comments
Paradoxxxx 16
Hey, at least you raised a smart kid :)
ao9s7yashdun 7
I would be proud.
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Comments (64)
gracehi 33
I bet you think *you're just a friggin genius and ruler of the world apparent, don't you?
erichsalvesen 13
I love educated children!
thelittlemissy 29
Why do people assume it's a boy?
MrGymnastic 12
Exactly. And people assume the kid would be dumb for even knowing about creationism.
Aky0n 10
not really about knowing it..believing it is what would be considered dumb. Did I clear up the confusion now? Good.
xerbrus 14
how do you know there's not a higher power and that evolution isn't by design which would make both theories right? Religion didn't just pop out of people's imaginations people aren't that smart no one woke up and said hey let's make up a story about the world and **** over what people think for thousands of years. For all we know the god or gods of religions are sentient aliens. and if you did any real research you'd find there are three species of aliens documented by the American government
Girlie7 11
If you can't convince them ,confuse them!
tishtashbat 16
Oh no, my kid is smart. Somehow I don't see this as an FML.
edvin_fml 10
he/she did not answer the question originally posed
gracehi 33
According to the child, the egg came before the chicken because dinosaurs laid eggs and chickens evolved from dinosaurs. That was his/ her answer.
edvin_fml 10
thanks for the clarification. technically, though, that's not a valid answer, since the transition from dinosaur to chicken was not a sudden one. in other words, the dinosaur did not lay an egg, which then suddenly hatched into a chicklet.
d4m4s74 12
Let's lengthen it then. Dinosaur lays egg, dinosaur comes out. Dinosaur lays egg, Dinosaur which somehow got feathers instead of scales comes out. Since the feathers keep it from freezing to death in the long dark prehistoric night the freak Dino finds a chance to get laid, lays an egg and a slightly more "chickeny" Dino comes out. Repeat for a couple hundred generations and what comes out and what comes out of the egg can't even be called a Dino anymore. More a not-quite-chicken-yet-bird-thing. After mating with another not-quite-chicken-yet-bird-thing it lays an egg and out pops a chicken. So if you define egg as an egg a chicken comes out off, the egg came first. If you define egg as a chicken that came out of an egg I just wasted 15 minutes typing this on my phone. But hey, at least not-quite-chicken-yet-bird-thing is in my autocorrect now.
Robtranis 11
Dayum... Smart kid
rockydify 22
This is a good thing! Congratulations on raising a smart child. :)
DotDootyDot 17
You deserved it... For raising a smart kid! Kudos to you!
Gittoh 21
why does everyone assume the child is a boy???
MrGymnastic 12
Great point. Also that even knowing about creationism makes him/her dumb.
Aky0n 10
Let's get this straight since you've made this same comment a few times over already. Are you a creationist?
xerbrus 14
obviously...he's trying to make his point because everyone on here is attacking one theory that can't be proven with another that can't be proven. neither theory makes people dumb...Darwinism was already proven wrong and just replaced by a more updated version of how evolution happened...according to Darwinism if an animal suddenly found the need to fly it would sprout ******* wins