Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When I came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML
Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML
Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, I tried to parallel park in front of a crowd. After several failed attempts, someone shouted from a window above, "Nice 23-point turn, dumbass!" I was practicing on an empty street. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
SpunkT 0
Awesome. Also, can we seriously knock that "FIRST!!!OMG I"M AWESOME CAUSE I CHECK WEBSITES SO OFTEN I CAN COMMENT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE LOOK HOW COOL I AM HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" crap out? Or can FML just delete those comments? I know other sites just go through and delete stupid "FIRST" comments. Even if you say something else after you're a total douche. We can see that you're first. You're not cool. Go outside.
24788 7
I will never understand why people go to parades. If it wasn't for the candy when I was younger I would have shot myself. Hopefully they let you out.
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Comments (103)
theannoyingone 0
Ahhahaaha you deserved that one. FIRST!
Im_Insane 0
hahaha thats hilarious
validus 0
lol, awkward moments ftw!
jman0116 0
haha nice choice of words
sebastian406 0
-Perfect- choice of words. I hope you backed out your car anyway and ruined their parade.
reyemrein 0
What #4 said
happyhak 5
Hey #4 and #83, why don't you go try that then in about a month or 2 I will visit you in prison while laughing at your mutated faces. I'll laugh at your families too as they will be crying. Not because you guys are in prison but because they forgot to use a condom and they now have a dumbass for a son who is now in prison. OP, why don't you pull down your pants and stop playing with your asshole, asshole?
validus 0
WTF r u talkin about 84, you just insulted them with no motive. real genius there.
lolgirlLM 0
First off 84 way to go insulting stupidity with more stupidity. And number 4? How dare you, you don't know these people and that's just a hate filled comment , I'm not hating on anyone else's personal or religious beliefs so why don't you do the world a favor and keep it to yourself because obviously you are just hateful and ignorant.
24788 7
I will never understand why people go to parades. If it wasn't for the candy when I was younger I would have shot myself. Hopefully they let you out.
SpunkT 0
Awesome. Also, can we seriously knock that "FIRST!!!OMG I"M AWESOME CAUSE I CHECK WEBSITES SO OFTEN I CAN COMMENT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE LOOK HOW COOL I AM HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" crap out? Or can FML just delete those comments? I know other sites just go through and delete stupid "FIRST" comments. Even if you say something else after you're a total douche. We can see that you're first. You're not cool. Go outside.
lololol_fml 0
#7 missed 1st post and is annoyed
SSC_fml 0
#7, trust me I have been first and my post got deleted because of somebody like you, don't ruin it for others, obviously you haven't been first... It's exciting. Anyway, dude that was definitely and interesting choice of words right next to a church :P YDI.
msupky 0
I woud've said the EXACT same thing
SSC_fml 0
Oops, sorry so it wasn't next to a church, well that's still pretty funny ^_^;