Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML
Today, just like every other celebratory day (like my anniversary or birthday) I ordered my own Christmas present. My husband doesn't get it. I tried to explain. He openly admits he has no idea what I like and has no interest in learning, but wants me to have something to open so he won't look bad. FML
Today, my husband still hadn't gotten me anything for Christmas, so I bought and wrapped my own presents. Then I had my husband write 'to me, from him' on them so that I won't be embarrassed in front of my family on Christmas when it comes time to open presents. FML
Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML
Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML
Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
Tell him it's a weird catapult or something, and maybe have a talk with your husband about when it's appropriate to give jokey presents
xjon1600 17
Yeah.... Santa probably should have delivered that one where the kiddo couldn't see it. Fyl
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
taco_warrior17 15
Well I guess it's good he's trying to mix it up in bed.
MrBlackledge 12
At least he has a sense of humour
gratunka 11
that reminds me... Couple years ago my now ex girlfriend and I bought a new dog collar for our greyhound. Her 16 year old daughter asked "what's this? " holding it up. I said "I got that for your mom." She turned white.
deltoren 11
Impressive
Nygma 14
Teach him a lesson: buy a strap-on and make him wear the gag.
IamHercules 24
The hell is wrong with you? How would that rectify anything?
Colon_Man 17
Rectify? I hardly know the guy!
wow2mylife 25
tell him it a bath cleaner
LPac5295 27
Just make something up. Or do what my parents did and just tell them not to worry about it. Once he's older he will understand.
CharlotteColeman 6
Except for your son's questioning, hey that's not all bad lol
buckstop1 37
Merry Christmas!
crystal12895 1
that's an awesome Christmas present! that means you guys are still getting some!
rldostie 19
Why wouldn't they be? More important, they aren't just getting some, it seems they're getting fun, kinky some.
Anterei 2
Didn't he mean that she should stop talking? Hence the headphones... At least that's how I would explain it to a child.