Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Uncomfortable
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
Broadcast
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
The Groucho Marx of Zoom
Today, I was on a work call when my coworker made an accidental Freudian slip. Thinking I was muted, I muttered, "That’s what she said." I wasn’t muted. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Mummy's boy
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Scary
Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML
Freudian slip
Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss's constant micromanagement. FML
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Top comments
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
Rule #9, don't blurt the rules in front of the boss.
SiHa00095 15
Your boss sounds like Gibbs from NCIS with all the rules.
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Comments (64)
sugarbear0727 19
Lol. That sucks. I hope he doesn't take it as anything offensive. If its something he's in on, just let him know that the bump was an accident, and you blurted out the rule so that you could show him that you knew you weren't supposed to touch him.
akiahara 14
You're now going to be voted off the island, and will have to eat lunch in solitude.
kirb2154 3
maybe he will think you are learning quick
Lilo4life 26
It's okay. I bet George has his own set of rules for his staff. Rule #1 make new guys life a living hell.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
ROFLMAO
griggypop 4
The first rule of rule club...
ninaskyez 12
Thats an odd rule!
AdamsNumberOne 16
One word. Dumbass
Kitten_Calderon 14
Well. At least you guys don't call him curious George..
unknown2126 14
HAHA!!!!