Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, my son broke up with his girlfriend. When I asked why, he said, "Because I found out she's adopted. Ugh. I just can't with that, y'know?" Never before have I ever felt the desire to disown one of my kids. It's not a pleasant feeling. FML
Today, after I spent years, and thousands of dollars, searching for my birth father, he changed his mind about adopting me. FML
Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML
Today, my son tried to fight my husband, his step-dad, who knocked him to the floor with one good punch. I was ready to throw my husband out, but an hour later they were having a heart-to-heart, and now they get along better than they ever have. HUH?!! FML
Today, after an ex let me know I have a 19 year old-son. I was beyond excited so I spent the weekend with them and I can tell you now, the boy is a complete prick, and I prefer to continue to claim I’m childless rather than admit I fathered that arrogant, rude, selfish, entitled little shit. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML
Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
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Top comments
lovertolover 4
Talk about a soap opera in the making.
docscientist 10
You're right, he should've left him in a dumpster.
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Comments (383)
darkmis1 18
For all the people saying OP deserved it, and should've kept his son: What if it was a closed adoption and OP had to search for him? What if OP didn't have the means until now? Would you rather the baby have been aborted or left on the street to die? Grow up, people!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, what's with all the YDIs? People are so heartless in this world, I fear for future generations. I had a friend who had to give her son up for adoption because she had no way to support him, but she still got to see him from time to time. OP probably had the same situation, and he was thinking about his son's well-being rather than himself, so putting him up for adoption was probably the best thing to do so he could get the care he needed. I do wonder where the mother is, but that's beside the point. So all you people saying YDI need to grow up and look at it from OP's perspective.
kaylsanders14 0
my mom gave me up for adoption when I was 3. almost 2 decades later ive gotten into 3 fist fights cus she wanted to "be in my life" promise that it won't get better for you
jcc393 6
I'm so sorry! I met my dad for the first time, and I understand why sometimes adoption is the best choice for your child. I just hope your son can come to understand that so you can build a relationship. Good luck!
UsagiArwen 23
Like all the other people who have asked why there are so many YDI's, I have to ask the same question. We don't know the reasons for the father putting his son up for adoption. But let me say this, at least this man took the appropriate avenues in an attempt to make his child's life a better one. He could have been like many deadbeat dads who escape from the mom and child and leave them with nothing. He coulda been the alcoholic who came home in an angry fit to beat up on them both. No. For whatever reason, he went the extra mile to make sure his child was taken care of. And now he's trying to get in touch with his kid. Okay, it's 20 years later. Again, you don't know why it's taken him so long. Some adoption records are sealed even from the parents. Maybe he signed an agreement that he couldn't go near his son til he was 18, and has spent the last two years trying to find them again. But wait, none of you YDI's considered that possibility. At least this guy's trying to make an attempt to make amends. Op, FYL.
Sanch101 7
I don't know why there are all the deserve it on this one, we don't know why he was put up for adoption and no one deserves to be punched in that manner, Just seen the comment above is exactly the same.
mariet_fml 23
FYL. Kudos for taking this step, though. Even if you never become friendly, you can answer his questions and maybe soothe some emotional scars. edit: Reading some of these comments makes me really sad. People are so stupid.
lala_baggins 0
To the OP, don't give up hope. He will probably come around eventually. Imagine going through your life thinking that your birthparents didn't want you. That may not be the case but that's likely how he feels. You may want to try writing a letter explaining how you feel and why you made the decision that you made. As an adoptive parent in an open adoption, I've learned a lot about adoption cases and can say that adoption is rarely an easy choice. Even junkies are usually curious about what happened to their child at some point in their life. Unfortunately, open adoptions are still fairly new but are gaining in popularity. My son will always know that he was adopted and know the reasons why.
hateevryone 15
well, you did give him away so what did you expect. he wasn't gonna welcome you with open arms.
HunterAlpha1 8
just goes to show, your past actions can come back to bite you in the ass... or punch you in the face, whatever.