Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

Hey

Today, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and talk to my coworker because people have been saying I’m too shy. I say, "Hey" to a girl and she made fun of my voice. She’s the one who told me to talk more. FML

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

Harsh

Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML

Jumping the gun

Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML

Today, I tried singing in front of my friend. She said, "That's a hilarious voice! You should use that voice when telling jokes!" FML

RUDE!

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

Go compaaaaaaare

Today, while I was gaming, a girl using voice chat was probably the most polite person I have ever encountered in my life. It was only after I logged off that I realized she spoke to me with more affection and respect than my own mother ever has in my entire life. FML

Desperate times, desperate, dumb measures

Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML