Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been flirting with at work. Some coworkers had discreetly warned me about him, but I thought he was cute. We get to the date, and after an hour of small talk, he spent the next two hours trying to get me to invest in his crypto coin thing that "is definitely going to be huge." FML
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
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Top comments
erm 0
Whoa...You actually MET Tom Cruise?
cchamp27 0
And how is your life f*cked as a result of this?
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Comments (139)
sakamya 0
That's kinda sorta awesome. Why's than an FML?
zissou319 0
and you let him get away!?!?
AllieCat999 0
Oh, that's not TOO horrible. Same thing happened to my mom, actually, except he told her that there were people living on the moon, and that they were the ones who actually ran Wal-Mart. Swear to God. And once a really freaky guy was hitting on me and wouldn't back off, so I told him that my father was a Don in the Mafia. *Shrug* It happens. Btw, # 9, I love you. You're great. Marry me? Lol
snow_cloak 0
You should've told him to bend a spoon for you. Usually you'd think people who act like that look more geeky, with frizzy hair and all.
YouGotJizzed 0
Some guy mentioned something in the news while I was getting my haircut a few weeks ago. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Up until the vast conspiracy theory that the Earth was only 3 million years old and there are two suns in our solar system part.
fallopiantubes 1
hahahahhaha! That's something I would do. I am a certified UFO hunter!
paski 0
I am pretty sure I've gone out with that guy. Fml.
Vinny66 0
back to basics! I like simple FMLs
JEAM 0
you must have been super excited once you found out he had super psychic powers that's gotta come in handy at times
mushroomcloud 0
THIS IS SO STUPID.