Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been flirting with at work. Some coworkers had discreetly warned me about him, but I thought he was cute. We get to the date, and after an hour of small talk, he spent the next two hours trying to get me to invest in his crypto coin thing that "is definitely going to be huge." FML
Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
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Top comments
erm 0
Whoa...You actually MET Tom Cruise?
cchamp27 0
And how is your life f*cked as a result of this?
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Comments (139)
grosie 0
poor thing. same thing happened to me, i was at his house and we just hooked up then he started biting my neck and telling me about how he was a vampire and after he bit me i would love him forever. xx
sleepless15_p 0
did you atleast get his number?
nodbor 11
hey, we has those kind of customers at work today.
maiden_girl 5
Oooo. Sounds like an x-file... hehe.
MrJentipede 2
What's the problem? Guy sounds like a great catch.
Akraz 0
Im really surprised no one made and Heroes jokes...
sxdrgsrcknrl 0
Dude thats happened to me before too! This guy i had been dating started talking about how he's surrounded by positive spirits but my other friend john is surrounded by "evil" spirits. Hahaha. Lunatics!
Jokermon 0
bahahahahahahahahahahahahahah #3 & #6, perfect!
f_my_life05 0
Bahahahahahaha! That's messed up.
thekreeperkeeper 0
#3, perfect, I came to say the same...