Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Classic brain fart
Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML
Zero to a hundred real fast
Today, I asked the girl I’m seeing to make me some chicken soup because I was sick. She replied, “If you’re sick, go to the doctor. I’m not doing wifey shit if you’re not gonna make me a wife, let alone a girlfriend.” FML
Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML
Kitchen nightmare
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Healthy lifestyle goals
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Kitchen daydream
Today, I was "that idiot" who spent ages making a soup stock from meat and vegetables, but then while separating it forgot to put a pan under the strainer, so I poured the finished stock down the sink, leaving me with only the boiled meat and veg sat sadly in the strainer. Takeaway chinese for tea, then. FML
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
Just eat it
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
I know her so well
Today, I spent a good deal of my afternoon preparing a nice dinner for my girlfriend. When I finally served the meal, I proudly presented her with a beautifully arranged plate of salmon. She looked at it and said, “You know I’m allergic to fish, right?” We had cereal for dinner instead. FML
Top comments
uneekfreak16 0
Awww.. you're so sweet :). That girl doesn't deserve you...you sound like you have awesome boyfriend potential and I hope you find someone who really appreciates what you do for them.
christoper 0
Oh, she's probably just sick and cranky.
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Comments (172)
BiggieA 0
YOU BASTARD!!! how dare you not cook the celery long enough
DankJemo 0
Ha, that is how people roll these days. I've noticed it a lot with young women... Very selfish. Nevermind the fact that the guy made homemade soup, and spent a bunch of time doing it... That girl is a first-class Asshat.
Puolukka 4
#50 I don't think he expects that from her. But if you take care of your sick boyfriend/girlfriend and make sure they have everything they need and even make the effort to cook them something, they should be grateful and not bitch about it. Of course she can be cranky, she's sick so it's understandable...but she shouldn't bitch at something that was a nice gesture. When I'm at home and really sick and my husband cooks me food or makes me tea and then turns up the TV too loud so my pounding headache hurts even more I also don't yell "Turn down the ******* TV dude"...somehow I still manage to say "Hey babe, would you mind turning down the TV it really hurts my head"...if you actually care about someone and truly appreciate what they're doing for you it shouldn't be too hard to suck it up and say some friendly words.
jonnymohio 2
You just got a preview of married life with her. Drop her now, before you get any deeper.
avalon24 18
What a bitch! Being sick doesn't give you licensee to be nasty, bitchy and crabby/cranky! You can still be nice when you don't feel good. I can't believe the people who believe it's okay to be a bitch simply because you are sick.
mac_fml 0
id say to save that for a girl who actually will appreciate it, because it sounds like she didnt.
Dogmaw 0
#1 and #2 got it right, I think. The celery may have been under-cooked and sick people tend to be selfish, rude and cranky.
nocturnal_crazy 1
She doesn't deserve you. Dump her.
plexico 4
Read a recipe, you dipshit! Don't wing it if you don't know what you're doing. YDI. Marry this girl, because she'll tell you when you **** up. The "nice" girls will eat the uncooked celery with a fake smile and start a festering resentment toward you. That will explode out one way or another and none of them are good!
Rabblerouser 0
she was just telling you the truth...