Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
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Top comments
linstar 13
You're a ******* idiot!
kendybendy 6
Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick
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Comments (156)
linkinpark98 24
I don't see why people voted FYL because this is obviously his/her own fault.
liftedyoda 5
I'm a ****** retard
linkinpark98 24
Aren't we all on the inside? ;)
cjrand 7
Darwin would be proud... You should've done spirit fingers!
roxyelizabeth 3
Idiot! You make the rest of us Canadians look bad.
TheYamBagga 5
You're a jack ass...you should do the world a favor and bet them that you can breath underwater so you stop wasting our air....****
jblue22 1
how are you typing this on FML?
arthurlikestrain 0
You need leather gloves for that trick, dummy.
LilyZombie 8
I thumbed up. "burn baby" lyric. ";P" lyric over. "sizzle sizzle" The dude's hand was on fire. right? O.o
j_cat187 20
You stupid ****
panchis16 0
I don't want to live on this planet anymore