Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML
Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
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Top comments
Martinez0285 28
At least that's the only thing coming out when you cough... Could be worse :p feel better op
Alikia96 20
Well that stinks
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Comments (43)
PenguinBitch 44
Or are you trying to cover your germy coughs with farts? *In a parallel universe*
llamarrama01 21
Put a hat on. Keeps your head warm.
andyeatsworld 10
Take the farts with pride and walk away OP.
Liamj774 36
Ahh, flatulence
tony1891 22
well as long as you dont cough and shart yourself i wouldn't worry about what people think
brendejafulable 41
hahaha
wanted_2_want 40
Hahaha. That was so funny that I started farting while laughing. LOL
AloysiusWeasley 15
No one would be saying anything at all if you were home where you belonged OP, instead of out in public, spreading your disease.
ImTheAlpha 30
I've tried that whole "staying at home when sick" business. I just ended up being threatened to be taken to court. My mom tried it to before too and she almost got fired. With a naturally sickly person or someone with a very long lasting illness it's just not possible.
zuitsuitriot 0
I was at home.They edited it to "everyone" from my original "my family" but thanks for being an asshole anyway
worldclassrager 41
Try some Beno see what that does...
alkatline 25
Am I the only one who thought of Peter Griffin when I read this?
katydid91 31
Nooooo...(fart) No.