Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
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Top comments
Philintheblankz 14
If your friends are out getting drunk practically every night then I would say your gonna be much better off than them.
PandaBurst 10
Good on you for deciding to be one of our sexy men/women in uniform. It'll pay off. Plus, you'll get more franks bought for you in the future when you're wearing your uniform. ;-)
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Comments (86)
Austin1M6 2
got to love it
Austin1M6 2
yep, same thing happened to me my knob year, it sucks
divadro102 16
And once you leave you'll be able to prove how much fun you can have without touching a drop of liqour
thesnake8 1
you gonna cry about it or what? you joined the military... man up, be glad your not enlisted.
XxxT3rr4xxX 25
Drinking isn't everything buddy believe that.
lanco_fml 10
suck it up solider..life is more then drinking..you r representing our country
Phoenix_fml 13
Coast Guard? They do a damn fine job. And you'll have a job after graduation. Don't worry about the partying.
SemperFiGaming 1
Don't worry. You're in the Military and that takes a lot. Don't worry, you'll be drinking one when they can't :)
worldclassrager 41
Being sober is better than drunk...(not putting this on them) they do something they really regret...
k84765 3
seriously you think this is considered an fml story big deal you can't drink life must be horrible you wake up without a hangover , have money to spend on better things in life and don't blackout and act like a retard . get your priorities straight . I think you are one up on your friends bc you are sober