Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my husband are having our first big marital argument. Our baby still doesn’t have a name, all because I want to call her a normal name and he wants to call her some obscure name from an anime he really likes. I’ve never seen him this stubborn about anything this stupid. FML
Today, my boyfriend has had name ideas for his future son and daughter even before I met him, but so have I. He disregards my ideas and suggestions, and is hell bent on giving our kids names because he likes "the way they sound." 'Hippopotamus' sounds good, but who’d name their kids that? FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML
Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
Today, we got a dog. My husband was adamant that we should name him Gonit, so I agreed. A friend asked what the name meant, and my husband said, "Why wouldn't you name a dog Gonit?" Then I got it. FML
Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML
Today, we got our daughter's birth certificate. Turns out my husband thought it would be funny to give her a middle name, which we never discussed, and he picked one to sound funny. Not actually going to tell the internet her name, but it’s as bad as calling a boy Ben Dover. I’m furious. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
Today, I found out why my wife insisted on naming our first child "George" if it was a boy. It was her first love's name. FML
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Top comments
jay_south 19
Turtle-y anus?
Elban 20
Far out baby names, might wanna dial it down about 50% and come up with a something more acceptable and serious, like Tiberius
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Comments (62)
Galadrax 1
Better than naming your baby North West! My future son will be named Patrick Samwise, and my daughter will be named Arwen. To me and my boyfriend, Samwise Gamgee is the best role model for friendship and loyalty. And Arwen's bravery and independent spirit would be something I'd be proud to see my daughter live up to.
Dale_shackleford 13
Who cares what your name is when your parents are rich and famous? It's one thing for celebrities to do shit like that, but most people can't pull it off.
tj4234 36
Just don't let him call your son Varus, he might don a toga and follow your son around demanding back his Legions.
mh_2323 13
Please don't make you child's life miserable by naming him something stupid. There is a fine line between unique and idiotic, for your kids sake, please don't cross it.
OhPuhleeze 23
Tell him he can name the kids IF he takes care of them 24*7 till they turn 21. He would be the one going to park and yelling at odd times "Darrilus!!!! Stop beating your brother Getafix!! Right Now!!!" . Also he would be the one who'll have to explain the kids where to hide (when other kids beat them up for having those names) and to go to PTAs and meet parents of those kids , and not beat those parents up because they'll be laughing at the names of your children. Also tell him to buy a bigger house as kids and Nerds with weird names don't leave home till they are a hundred and don't get laid. Probably his family tree will end with those kids. Also get permission to adopt kids and name them what you want.
JadynHunter 19
Just tell him Perseus that's a Greek hero and he will probably know it and accept that compromise
Rababco 29
Plus, he'd have the same name as the character Percy Jackson and I'm sure the other kids would think that was really cool.
iateapenguin 27
It's one thing to give your child a unique historical name inspired by someone you admire, and another thing entirely to name them after a figure that literally everyone knows that will get them teased even more mercilessly. Hell, let's just call the kid Hercules! Why not amirite?! Also: who the heck names their child Perseus?
rldostie 19
Man after my own heart! People forget that some Roman names are pretty tame and cool. I wanted to name my would-be son after Julian the Apostate. We also considered Augustus or Julius. Tons of people are named Octavian. I'm willing to beg that the names he picked out aren't that odd. I wanted to name my cat Alcibiades, and call him Al for short, but I wouldn't do that to my kid. Just because he gave his pug a more unique name doesn't mean that's all the names he likes.
DanielleinDC 34
I'm going to agree with the others to try to find names with a modern twist. Or use that as their middle name.But considering you're the one carrying the pregnancy and will have to do most of the child care, you should have more say.
fmlinact 12
Makes me wonder what the names of the parents are. My experience of people that tend to give odd names to their kids is that they have common names themselves such as James, John and so on.
gingerlover01 24
your life isn't ****** that's awesome
queerkageyama 8
You'll just have to one up him. Try something modern but with a strong historical argument backing it up, I saw a lot of people mention the library of Alexandria. If not, try to negotiate for him to pick the middle name