Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me as a friend to one of his friends. FML
Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Lmao that is low but hilarious
Drigr 9
Jealous much?
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Comments (201)
onorexveritas 24
some friend you have, pinche puta
Wtfeezy 5
**** blocker!!
Cablo_Gubla 2
LOL! Can't blame you, friend. It was worth a shot, and I'd likely have done the same. Though, I like to think I would have succeeded where you failed, but I don't know you, them, or the circumstances of the situation, so I can't say shit.
laurenmacias 0
What a d*ck move
E001mek 5
I would have done the same thing
nor_cal1980 0
Ur pathetic.
ChelsW 2
xD Dude, you're an ass. That was great.
Arlisshsr 9
What a cultural cockblocker!
Valentine_Beauty 5
hahaha ur hilarious!
Sir_Swaggington 6
Bitch move.