Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
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Top comments
evilbrent 0
oh no oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!1 you just found out that people have sex at college!!!!!!!!1 disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
thequickredofox 0
It's a dorm bed - did you really think it wouldn't glow like a lighthouse under a black light! YDI for being naive.
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Comments (101)
hot_mess88 0
Wow. If I didn't know the girls who was living in my old dorm/apartment and they didn't know my sexual history, I might consider running up to my old pad one drunken night and tell them that bed on the right side of the downstairs bedroom was where I lost my virginity during last fall semester, and where I continued to have sex with my boyfriend and a few other guys after we broke up. But I would have to be incredibly drunk and feeling especially nostalgic at that particular time. Sex in college... Such a shocker!
scarletlily_fml 3
And? It's COLLEGE, get used to it.
Acid80 3
I would have asked her for a revival...
sanfrancisco 0
how is babby formed how girl get pragnent
bexox 0
WIN
chakrabs 0
This is a bad thing how?
Darkcloud_fml 0
I don't see the FML In fact i would actually probably kill for that to happen to me. Granted i know who lived in my room last year but still....
Slai_fml 3
Agreed. My dorm switches sexes every year.
FireFlie07 20
This is why you live OFF Campus.
iwadasn 33
Agreed.
Igor_g5 0
You should have invited her in and had sex with her.
movies12 0
#4 it's MICHAEL Jackson. Learn to spell the king of pop name properly. For the OP, u kinda expect it. Like honeslty.
fmlfmlfml15 0
I love it when people criticize a person's spelling and grammar, when they themselves make grammatical/spelling errors within the same comment. *checks any spelling errors* Yup, I'm good =)
Kitsterx 4
If you want to criticize other people's spelling and grammar then it's actually 'pop's' instead of 'pop'.
Spencer_CDS 0
Okay, so ... new year, different sheets and pillows and stuff ... who gives a ****? Call in your RA, let her know that someone barged into your room and is being unruly, and have the bitch thrown out. If this was the night before a final exam or something, then, well, maybe I could see why this would be aggravating, but it's not an FML; it's oversensitivity.