Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, my husband had a colonoscopy. Having spent yesterday hearing him complain about having only clear liquids and having to drink the required solution, he still was not cleaned out. We have to reschedule with two days of clear liquids. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
Say Cheese!
swanheart 35
"Rectum? I hardly knew 'em!!" On a more sensible note - that sucks, hopefully they removed it pretty quickly after you made them aware of it.
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Comments (91)
Necrox_fml 6
actually.. where am at.. the dont put you under for colonoscopies.... learned that the "shitty" way
vikky538 29
I have got one question. When the camera is inside dont you feel it before you wake up?
SwedishMaria 16
I had a colonoscopy done some years ago and I was fully awake during the whole procedure. I could follow the camera on a screen the whole time and you could also feel its journey inside you. The pain of being awake during the procedure and not even getting something for the panic I was having during the whole thing was beyond any pain I've had. Ever.
kaitb1103 23
As someone who has needed a colonoscopy in the past, you're being a baby. Nothing painful about it. A bit awkward yes. But certainly nothing you need to be put asleep for.
missambitious 21
Agreed. I recently had a test done where the Dr inserted a camera up into my bladder. I just got a local anesthetic. It was a bit uncomfortable, but wasn't painful at all. I don't know. Maybe I just have a high pain tolerance.
Badkarma4u 17
Yeah I saw the size of the thing, and if a person can take a penis, why would someone need to be put to sleep for that.
kaitb1103 23
Thank you! Glad someone else agrees!
kaitb1103 23
Bahahaha well since I've never had a penis up my butt (and plan to never have one up there)...agreed?
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree that it wasn't painful at all. But I know if you have ulcerative colitis or any other painful condition then your intestines are essentially an open wound and the camera/tube is scraping up against those wounds. So for some, it may actually be excruciating. My friend has ulcerative colitis and had the colonoscopy and he said it was excruciating and the worst pain he's ever felt. For a normal person it shouldn't be painful, but everyone is different.
kaitb1103 23
I didn't think of that :) thanks for the insight. Maybe OP will do a follow up?
BaDumTsss_fml 23
I've had 5 colonoscopies, starting at age 10, and I've had to be asleep for them all? What's the point not putting us to sleep? Everyone else in my family whose had one was put to sleep too.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
I've got ulcerative colitis too and I've been put to sleep for all 5 (so far) of my colonoscopies. I hate both my disease and needles. Lose-lose situation here.
kaitb1103 23
If you have ulcers or something you probably do need to be put to sleep. But if it's just for samples then you really shouldn't 'need' to be as it really isn't painful at all. Like I said, it's uncomfortable but def. not painful. Either that or you may have a low pain tolerance?
SwedishMaria 16
I had a colonoscopy and it hurt like hell so its definitely from person to person if it hurts or not.
kaitb1103 23
I think it varies depending on whether you have ulcers and possibly even gender. But since the majority of the commenters saying its painful don't have full profiles it's hard to say
kaitb1103 23
Here's an interesting article about why you SHOULDNT be put to sleep- http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/02/sedation-free-colonoscopy
Gillett 23
#56 Riiiiiiiiiight ok. wink wink!
Evil_Jester 17
Rectum, Dam near killed em...
mflindy 2
Getting her ready for April 18
Emiweb 9
Not sure why you'd need to be knocked out for it at all.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Well would you appreciate having a tube stuck up your ass while you were awake?
greencurtains74 11
Sometimes as you are waking up they are at the tail end of the procedure. Did they forget or were they just finishing up?
maty172 14
No one would forget dude. He woke up early. Honestly, I have no idea why he was asleep. Usually they give you a drug that acts as an amnesia agent so you forget the experience, not actually sedate you.
Spoderman170 8
That must have been a pain in the ass.... Bu dum tsss.. It's awful I know
Redgy22 26
can you say "malpractice?"