Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, my husband had a colonoscopy. Having spent yesterday hearing him complain about having only clear liquids and having to drink the required solution, he still was not cleaned out. We have to reschedule with two days of clear liquids. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
Say Cheese!
swanheart 35
"Rectum? I hardly knew 'em!!" On a more sensible note - that sucks, hopefully they removed it pretty quickly after you made them aware of it.
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Comments (91)
woainishamu 21
Say Cheese!
spatula232 25
More like 'Oh shit!'
HarshD9619 34
That must've just wrecked your rectum
vikky538 29
Yellow cheese
WildJaw 15
What an ass!
ohSNAPyall 27
Say Beans!
kylieh72 25
That's a shitty situation.
woainishamu 21
New here? :)
martin8337 36
s.s. is a worn out pun in the FML universe.
kylieh72 25
No, so I knew someone was going to say it eventually. I just got it out of the way early.
acommonman 23
I'm wondering when it would come to the point where using "a shitty situation" actually starts to get upvotes just because the commentor was ballsy enough to use the phrase that everyone used to hate considerably and instantly downvote.
nicfo 22
nearly as bad as "what a pain in the arse"...
MrConcise 35
#18 - We need an opposite day on FML where we bury all the good comments and only upvote terrible puns.
Xela77 10
#34 probably thinks it's already opposite day.
apitrix 24
Talk about butthurt
Markovski 18
*cringes*I AM SORRY I can feel the pain here now..
swanheart 35
"Rectum? I hardly knew 'em!!" On a more sensible note - that sucks, hopefully they removed it pretty quickly after you made them aware of it.
spatula232 25
Insert lame and overused shit puns below
hedgedcats 19
I find these kind of comments more overused. :/
acommonman 23
Shh, he's trying to make a comment that gets upvotes but has zero relevance to the fml, leave him be!
MedChew 19
You're lucky they even put you to sleep for a colonoscopy. In my country, you are fully conscious during a colonoscopy
cheeeksss 29
I'm having one this weekend. Reading this makes me feel fantastic.
kaitb1103 23
Honestly 35, just take an Advil beforehand. Nothing painful about it! Awkward yes. Uncomfortable, yes. But painful? Not in the slightest.
lightburns 10
Pfft, why does anyone get put to sleep? In my country, no-one is put to sleep, although it is the norm to be sedated so a bit woozy throughout. I didn't feel like having the effects later in the day, and I wanted to walk home myself, so I did mine non-sedated. Did need to get gas through one painful moment, but otherwise it wasn't a problem at all!
DomiLove 26
I was put to sleep during mine and it went well (well, as good as it can go since I was like 11-13 and had to have one to see what was wrong with me). The prep was just the worst part for me, not eating then that horrible drink I had to drink that ruined anything orange flavoured for me..
Brandi_Faith 34
I've had colonoscopy's and endoscopy's (down the throat into the stomach) when I was a kid, and they put you to sleep for that. When you're an adult they sedate you so your groggy and sleep through it. However, the meds I'm on counteract with the sedation, so I was completely 100% awake for my colonoscopy, which wasn't bad, as well as the endoscopy (down the throat into the stomach) which was horrible and terrifying. The colonoscopy is easy, it's uncomfortable, but not painful at all. The gas afterwards is uncomfortable, but the worst part, as someone said, is the stuff you have to drink that clears you out before hand. You take this stuff the day before and it tastes awful giving you the runs and gas pain and then you can't eat and get shaky. Not fun.
Waschlappen 23
The same in mine. I was fully awake and not given anything sedative or anything. It's the worst pain I've ever felt, so the people who say it doesn't hurt, I envy your experience. Mine was awful! I hope I never have to do it again.
SweetasCandy0609 28
Dang OP your doctor's office sounds like a quack I can't believe they forgot to take it out that's just ridiculous. I would file a complaint with the office.
maty172 14
They didn't forget, he just woke up too soon. Learn to read
Cassandra2015 21
Yeah my response too would be fml.
Eliseopwns 22
Damn, if only this site had a convenient way, like a button or something, to express such sentiments :T
swanheart 35
We can but dream, #15, we can but dream
meisan 12
now you know if you clean enough! im sorry though i dont believe thatd be nice to see
Kazze 31
That sounds like it was a pain in the ass. In all seriousness, it really sucks that happened. I can't imagine the pain (or awkwardness) of that situation.