cemakara3
Vallensb?k, Denmark 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML
Top comments
syki 22
Even if it weren't just biology, that seems like backwards logic. "You just came? You must think I'm hideous!"
CheekyRaccoon 27
It's still better than her asking, are you in yet? Practice makes perfect.
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Comments (89)
RadiantAerynSun 2
Your girlfriend sounds too immature for a sexual relationship (regardless of her age).
hfslkp47012759 28
Maybe your school system's sex education is a bit lacking...
jettheawesome 7
Well she's just dumb
vikky538 29
Did you tell her its your first time
rawrmuffinsnom 18
It sounds like she isn't mature enough to be having sex if that is her response to you not lasting 'long enough.'
PhoenixChick 26
Guys not lasting long enough is just about the number one subject of sex jokes on the planet. Has your girlfriend grown up in a hole under a rock in an abstinence-only sex ed system in a state with no internet?
jagott2 8
I feel zero sympathy here. The majority of women ****** via clitoral stimulation not vaginal penetration. Therefore even a 'fast shooter' can get his girl off by using fingers and/or tongue. I assume OP didn't do that since this FML wouldn't exist if he did.
DoomedGemini 38
It was his first time..? Perhaps suggest that in a nonbitchy way, and it's really NOT clear that he didn't. Her issue was that he came too fast and her somehow believing that meant he wanted to get it over with quickly.
fohfuucba 21
People don't do sex perfectly the first time, like, ever. Don't be an asshole about it.
LyricaSilvan 30
I'd be surprised if you ever got laid at all, with that negative attitude, 42...might wanna chill out a little. Most people actually DON'T want a date a jerk.
shanson 22
Since it's his first time, chances op doesn't know how. Besides that some women will have a hard time even with direct stimulation if they're inexperienced and tense
cemakara3 11
Hey OP here. I showed my gf some of the comments on here and she is not mad anymore. Thanks!!
syki 22
So… an FML… *solved* someone's problems? =O
boating_guy 33
Is...is that possible?
PhoenixChick 26
Someone looks outside for airborn bacon!
oreoeater 21
I swear I just a pig fly by
fakedsincerity 32
believe in yourselves, fellow FML commenters, together we can change the world! or make a bunch of shitty puns. whatever.
Ruskiy_Cherep 18
So the other day I thought my shift started at 8 but it started at 9! So I came a little early... U ever have that? U know where you come a little early?
Xamry14 10
Dick comment but lol
Boogley 12
How is that a dick comment, keyboard warrior bitch
deathstroke990 22
I seriously can't believe a girl wrote this