Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML
Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend's place and forgotten. FML
Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML
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Top comments
Wandering_fml 0
Sucks for you. YDI for just leaving like that.
manoverboard 0
ROTFL. That's what you gettt. Karma much?
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Comments (93)
xClarkGable 0
#19: No, everyone doesn't do it. Sleazy people, do. I'm no ****, not even close. I'm a girl who respects her body and is leaving it for one person. Not one person a week.
LenWK 0
I'm betting every single person who said YDI is a female who woke up and found the guy she was sleeping with wasn't there.
mariamaria 0
wow you're a dick. you're an even bigger dick for putting this on FML and trying to get pity for it. grow some balls and stop being such a sleaze.
yesmy_love 0
DiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiCK.
eternalaphrodite 0
YDI. That was s dick move.
balanceMMX 0
what a tool. i hope she locked the door and you never got your keys back.
blahdsflksfd 0
It doesnt sound like you were married to her...
missethics 0
Just be straightforward next time. Chances are she's a **** by nature, she's probably used to guys not staying the night. Honesty is the best policy!
eeee93757 0
Hope she locked you out ya ******' tool.
CD24 0
Congrats, you are a scum bag. I did enjoy the instant karma with the keys however. Looks like the girl isn't better, if she choose someone like you. Nonetheless, do the world a favor and stop having sex, so we can lower the risk to zero that someone who exhibits this kind of behavior does not breed.
Didisco 0
I love you! Shall we marry or something?