Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
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Top comments
sturschaedel 27
Which is when you walk over to him and say with a sardonic smile "Well, it's too early to take the test yet, we'll have to wait another week until we know for sure, daddy", and wait how HE looks after a week of stress eating.
toastbrot 9
don't worry OP. it will be all worth it if you pass all your exams.
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Comments (66)
carrissa3 13
Its not his fault she's getting fat stop stress eating junk food
RabbitOfAurora 28
**** off mate, people are free to eat and look how they want. If he's not into her body type anymore there are better ways to bring it up other than being a rude ****. Sit down and have a legit conversation "I understand this is because of the stress of finals, but I'm starting to not feel attracted to you" Shallow for sure, but for some people it's a big thing and requires a delicate and honest conversation not being rude.
DoomedGemini 38
Yes, stop this reaction to stress that you would have a very hard time resisting to do. Really? Someone isn't going to suddenly get obese from stress eating for a short amount of time, if anything yeah you might get chubby but so what? As the other said, have an issue with it? Talk calmly and kindly, being rude or cruel would most likely just make the person stress eat more.
Xandrick 22
I found myself facepalming and saying, "******* idiot. Never say that to your girlfriend about her figure, especially if she's been stressed. Oh, and guess what? You just blew your chance of bedtime playtime with her for a while. GG."
MarkGaus 12
Aww look at the bright side there Is somebody coming into the world soon!
GhostFox 34
OP (probably) isn't really pregnant. She's just put on some weight around her abdomen from eating due to duress.
GhostFox 34
Ask him not to make statements like that anymore because they upset you. Also, I wouldn't worry too much about the exam weight, since it should go away once your cortisol levels return to normal. That said, if you are worried about the stress eating, you could try replacing it with a different habit. As an example, when you get the urge to binge, do 10 crunches or jumping jacks, do a lap around the dorm/house, get a coloring book and color a page. If those don't work, drink 16 oz of water, and replace some of the junk food you are (probably) munching on with healthier things. As some ideas: celery filled with peanut butter and topped with raisins, carrots and celery with hummus for dipping, a handful of your favorite nuts (I mean the kind that plants produce, but if the other kind sounds more appealing, go for it I guess.) and popcorn that is easy on the butter and salt. Dried fruit can also work, but you have to be careful about portions because of the sugars. You basically are looking for fiber and protein. Hope your boyfriend keeps the thoughtless remarks to himself, OP, and good luck with your exams.
Dark_Cecilia 20
Get a fake positive pregnancy test and show him. He deserves being freaked like that. Then break up with him.
jvanevery 19
LOL LOL LOL .
inutaru 14
Dumping him is the fastest way to lose over 100 pounds :)
sfxscull 9
He's an ass
muhnuqqa15 9
Sorry that your boyfriend makes little jokes like that. I know it seems rude, but guys literally just can't predict what certain things will set women off. I hope everything is okay, and I'm sure you'll find time to lose the weight you "gained" during finals :)
yupitsbethxo 12
Same here...put on 5 pounds in the last two weeks thanks to finals stress eating
CubanCatastrophe 14
I'm sorry but I just can't help but laugh at his own response.??