Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, I got my hair cut. When I was leaving, my stylist was standing fairly close while we were talking. She reached out to smooth out my hair; I went in for a hug. She didn't want a hug. Everyone who was there just stared at me until I left the building. FML
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML
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Top comments
Marine1775 14
After I read the first sentence i was thinking something else.
ComoEsJuan 24
You were just saying thanks! Everyone deserves a good hug now and then.
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Comments (57)
magickitten 26
I'm sorry......what?
ivydindy13 14
He confused her gesturing towards the exit for an invitation for a hug.
magickitten 26
I'm not dull and didn't require patronising, I'm just confused as to how it happened. A gesture to an exit and a gesture for a hug are very different!! This FML needs a follow up....I need to know how this happened. It's hilarious!!
michael666 7
sounds like you did
RedPillSucks 33
She probably slowly stretched her arm out. two arms == I need a hug. One arm == get the **** out. And he can't count.
karlcolt45 19
well that's a rather unhappy ending
StompinOnCrayons 15
At least she knows you liked the massage
buckdharma 38
Did her next hand gesture clear things up for you?
superlols 2
well that escalated quickly
shhhaaarrron 12
You just wanted to tell her how much you appreciated that massage :)
lux0rd 18
I want to know if OP is male or female.
Gigantomat 9
No "Happy Ending" after all.
badluckalex 23
so she didnt hug you?
krysbell 7
I work in a Day Spa as a Massage and Beauty Therapist, every time someone gives you a hug after a treatment, which is not all that often, it's awkward for all parties involved.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
I guess this all depends on who you are and the "vibe" between therapist and client. I have been getting massages from the same female therapist once or twice a month for 2 years. She greets me with a hug every time I enter the salon, and we hug as I'm leaving. I've had other therapists before her, both men and women. Some I would hug, and some I'd NEVER give a hug to.