Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I treated myself to an hour long massage. Halfway through, I mumbled, “Thank you” to the masseuse and, without thinking, added, “I love you.” There was a long pause. Then she patted my head and whispered, “You’re welcome.” FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Today, I was supposed to be treating myself to a relaxing spa day, thinking it would be a great way to unwind. That was until the massage therapist somehow gave me a "reverse" massage that left me sore in places I didn’t know could get sore. I paid for this torture, and now I can’t even walk properly. FML
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Today, I got my hair cut. When I was leaving, my stylist was standing fairly close while we were talking. She reached out to smooth out my hair; I went in for a hug. She didn't want a hug. Everyone who was there just stared at me until I left the building. FML
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML
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Top comments
Marine1775 14
After I read the first sentence i was thinking something else.
ComoEsJuan 24
You were just saying thanks! Everyone deserves a good hug now and then.
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Comments (57)
Witchylady 18
You're an idiot! Who on earth hugs their massage therapist unless you know the person really well?
Black_Knight80 13
Well she probably felt a poke... it's not polite to point.
Goblin182 27
We have massage therapy and aroma therapy. Now we have hug therapy.
vikky538 29
after all you are a satisfied customer...
mvc3ftw 17
I thought you would have learned your lesson after the fist bump at the gas station op o.o
CrimsonSmith 2
Hey, I remember that one! Was that really the same OP or are you just one clever bastard?
mvc3ftw 17
I wish i was a clever bastard,but I just remembered that fml and made a joke I hoped wouldn't be thumbed down to hell.
worldclassrager 41
Common mistake but it's a token of graditude...I bet they appreciated it
JD1147 27
Hmm.. I'm not sure there are that many workplaces you can go to where after someone touching you a lot would be ended with a hug... Wouldn't that be obvious?
TheRealAlejandro 11
you could've got a more awkward gesture and could've done something more awkward.
Chiroptera_Man 10
I'm a massage therapist and people have randomly hugged me before. It comes with the job sometimes.
awilliams44 9
agh someone wants some loveeeee!