Today, I got home with my 3 best friends in tow, only to find my husband fast asleep on the sofa, porn playing on his laptop, his boxers around his ankles, and a sticky white mess all down his thigh. I am so beyond mortified I can’t adequately describe how embarrassed I am. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML
Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML
Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML
Today, my husband walked in, lit a cigarette, burped, farted, opened two beers at once, then sat down in his armchair in his boxers to watch anime. My three best friends sat on the sofa thought it was hilarious while I was mortified. FML
Today, I was looking through my husband's phone and saw porn. I was so upset and immediately collapsed to the floor crying, feeling like I'd been punched. He called me a "giant drama queen" and said he needed the release. FML
Today, I discovered a bunch of porn on my husband's laptop, cartoon stuff with rabbit girls and monsters with octopus tentacles, I felt physically sick and I don’t think I can stomach being married to him anymore. It was disgusting FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, my husband invited 20 of his friends over, no discussion, just 20 strangers in my house. I got mad and went upstairs to our bedroom, which has an en suite shower. I got naked, and yet another dude came out of our en suite and walked right past my bare ass while I screamed. FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
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Top comments
user53658 15
It looks like your husband is short on sleep and sex.
user53658 15
Did you wake him while your friends were still around? If you did, then it was probably even more embarrassing for him then for you.
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Comments (36)
Rachel Martland 1
This is the first one to actually make me laugh
Xikira 7
I feel bad for your husband as well this is a big embarrassing fml for him to. You kind of caused this though by not letting him know you had friends coming over. If your bringing home people always call your housemates or husband before bringing them over. It gives them a chance to be prepared. When your at home it’s your little safe haven you don’t expect random people to stop in. For example when my boyfriend comes home he strips down to his boxers or if our ac decided to die randomly he goes completely nude to play Xbox comfortably. If I have Somone coming over I always call him a head of time so he can get dressed and be prepared.
DonKingSize 9
maybe you should step up your bedroom game.
tmj25789 23
some men do like to just pleasure themselves sometimes. it has nothing to do with their women not giving it up enough.
DonKingSize 9
of course. But maybe...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That must have been some ****** if it made him pass out!
CreeperReaperX 5
That’s a little bit of a sticky situation.
dwight7476 11
You not giving him good sex that’s the problem
openawhole00 6
Were your friends picking you up from the hospital after receiving treatment for your allergic reaction to a bee sting?
openawhole00 6
I bet that caused a lot of buzz at the wedding
Jenne Remue 10
i bet we will see on another site/app a person saying that 4 women walked in on him naked and it was the best day of his life
QueenAfrodite 8
Lol right on solo touch haha
QueenAfrodite 8
Lol right on solo touch
QueenAfrodite 8
That’s life. ************ is normal. My friends and I would have had a good laugh at that for real. You’re grown. No need to be embarrassed about it. He would have never lived that moment down lol. Lighten up buttercups.