Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML
Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
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Top comments
Bano360 25
Most vegans I know are very arrogant and annoying.
Welshite 40
Hey, vegetables have feelings too; I've heard they grow better when sung to. This is why I subsist on a diet of water and dirt.
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Comments (132)
BlackPhenom 9
Some vegans are so judgmental that on the Internet you could literally play "spot the vegan".
evilplatypus 39
I've been playing it in these comments! Thank god it's not a drinking game, or my liver would be pretty pissed right now...
fuzz97 23
aka "every single vegan on Tumblr"
septembers_over_fml 3
I hate people who force their beliefs on other people. why the hell did he go if he knew there was gonna be meat there? people amaze me.
tanekdrachonae 19
Sounds like someone needs to be pelted with bacon!
igetfeisty 6
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!!
brackaman 18
Why waste perfectly good bacon on someone who doesn't even want it? I'd just eat more bacon in his face.
Pordexel 5
Family dinner entertainment.
LyraAlluse 25
Another great battle waged on behalf of meat.
jarockstar27 10
I would look forward to that....
simsgirlgem 25
I hate those people okay you don't eat meat cool more power to you but I don't want to be told my burger had a ******* face I could tell them all the bugs and parasites missed in fruits and vegetables but I don't
brackaman 18
If at any point you'd like to include a period in that stream of consciousness please feel free.
tuckerluna98 5
Uh you eat fruit and vegetables to...? Smart one
Grand_Cookie 21
If we weren't supposed to eat it, than why is it so delicious?
perdix 31
I hope the carnivores won! You'd think the carnivores' body mass would mostly be muscle, given their steady diet of high-quality protein, but the vegans would consist mostly of flatulence. Their only defense would be a cloud of toxic farts.
TheDrifter 24
I'm reasonably sure the average hippie emits more noxious gasses per hour than the average SUV, it might be an effective tactic in an enclosed space, like a dining room.
perdix 31
What's you uncle's problem? What's his beef?
Duros1123 6
I see what you did there!