Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML
Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML
Today, I'd like to thank Alexa for my notification, saying ”You bought a 4-pound bag of Jawbreakers recently, would you like to share your feedback with Amazon prime customers?" My wife heard the message and laughed. FML
Today, I was wondering why the new book series I'd ordered hadn’t arrived. I ordered new books because my mom constantly bitched at me about being on the internet too often. She took my laptop away to "teach me a lesson". Only I need my laptop to get the confirmation number to track my books. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML
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Top comments
hXcsoccerplaya 0
wow shows that some people are incapable of faithfulness. FYL buddy
SemiRetarded 0
Ouch. Thanks for the constant reminder Amazon. I can't believe all the shitty comments people make over someones spelling mistakes. THANKS FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY!!!!
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Comments (195)
FMLFML123123 0
first! what's that
Ascaryrobot 0
You ******* idiot.
Zills 0
it's a book ereader thingy you can get it free on the itouch or iPhone
joshhh11 0
it's iPod touch not itouch fuckhead. sucks OP :(
yessirfosho 0
Actually it's referred to as both the Ipod touch and Itouch. fuckhead.
joshhh11 0
im pretty sure it an "iPod Touch", not an "iTouch" only douchebags refer to it as an "iTouch", fuckhead.
conversationist 0
i'm fairly sure it's referred to by both names... no need to have such a ridiculous argument about it.
pedotroll 0
no more use big words. my brain hurts.
afarr 0
me too Grrng
metalfan333 0
lol you jackass! even Apple has refered to it as an iTouch!
benkellen 0
joshhh11 its either douchebag fuckhead
Lg11 3
where did iPod touches come into this?
sublimedude777 0
You can call it either and iTouch or an iPod Touch. You don't see anyone calling the iPhone an "iPod Phone", do you?
krislea10 0
ass pirate? lol that made my day!
Zigma_fml 0
I prefer iTouch or iDevice. iPod Touch is annoying to say and type.
ShadowzI 0
as long as people are not going to use itouch as a prefix. For example, I'm an itouch boy. or itouch mom and so on
jkbball4195 0
noo its the itouch maybe if u had one u would see the name on itunes smartone. it says (name's) itouch.
Monikabug 9
125 ftw. :)
actress5698 1
no ur not
harryman04 0
haha moron
observesandgasps 0
Itouch myself to Taylor swift
ihavenoname123 0
Taylor swift is he one that touches me :D
blackllama 0
WTF fuckhead calm down and please stfu I can't read 3 comments without seeing fuckhead.
beetman5 4
iPod touch myself
ReesieBanana21 12
25-U r a dick. Da apple people call it an iTouch. So burn, fuckhead
h_langston12 0
:/ that really sucks
ChaCerCam 14
it does.. This is one I always come across in random and feel bad for instead of just laughing.
Zills 0
why would u get something for your ex ydi unless your implying she stole your credit card fyl
Ascaryrobot 0
He bought it for her. She ******* left him. Didn't even give it back. What a bitch. **** your life.
Cthulu 0
snickerdoodles pwns!
FMLFML123123 0
according to you, you don't know English because you just said u not you. so go **** yourself fire crotch
conversationist 0
#30 - they always said sarcasm was an art only the intelligent could understand. grow a brain before you go trying to be witty and correct people.
infiniti_G 0
#30 = WIN Fire crotch needs to take her sticky pussy elsewhere. =]
Nadsel 0
They also say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
ALegitNinja 0
Stop flaming the red head! heh heh...
repyourcliche 0
sarcasm is the lowest form of wit only to those who have never mastered the art, and those who always fall victim to it. the lowest form of wit is actually reputedly the pun - or as some wag said, "the bun is the lowest form of wheat". #30: hahahahaha, aw my god.
Monikabug 9
#30 ftw indeed!
Freeze_fml 17
#30 and #60 are both morons. Snicker gets annoying though.
Puls3ofth3maggot 0
stfu the Internet is about trying to type as much as u can in as little time, not freaking essays. we're not stupid we just really don't care about spelling or shit on FML comments
Lattenkiste 0
Hey, don't be hatin on the fire crotches. They're a hella lotta fun in bed
ayamefan13 16
That sucks. ):
drunastunamazing 0
that's so sad....:(
The_Toxic_Mite 0
That really sucks!
hXcsoccerplaya 0
wow shows that some people are incapable of faithfulness. FYL buddy
Cryzilla 0
overseas*
ILookAtFMLs 13
That's exactly what the FML said.
mrjohnz 0
man up, bitch.
lovezombie 0
You would think someone deployed overseas would know that it is spelled with an "a." you know, because you are across the sea.