Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML
Gixie tells us more.
Gixie 25
Alright. Where to start. 1) I submitted this FML and someone liked it so much he decided to submit it as his own with a few modifications. That's why there are comments about "daddy". 2) My son is 18 months, is developmentally challenged and just learning. He did not actually get me. 3) It is a learning fork for children which has metal, rounded prongs so it doesn't hurt if he gets you or himself. 4) I did take away his fork to which he screamed and cried. When he settled down, I gave it back and he was content to stab his pancake. 5) Have you people never been stabbed by plasticware or a spork? That shit hurts! 6) I do not live in Ghana.
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Top comments
TorisaurusRexxx 10
I'm just curious as to where he learned to do that.
JamieLT 22
Son problems. Maybe try to start with plastic utensils?
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Comments (82)
buddy51 23
OP is your son named Oedipus? Hang out with his mom a lot? He seems to be trying to say "Fork you, daddy!!" in actions and words!!
DanielleinDC 34
OP is a woman. Getting shanked by her son, who learned about violence pretty damn early.
TwoOneFive 11
Wow, be careful when he has a butter knife
Gixie 25
Seeing as how I created this and am a woman, I don't see how the username changed to bleedoutDAD17...
vbmg152 19
Wow! You'd think an 18 yr old would know better! J.K. :- )
rawr_ily96 24
When did OP mention the kid's age? From the sound of it, the kid is very young. I just saw OP's reply below, and she said he is 18 MONTHS. -_- You failed so bad.
swanheart 35
The joke Your head, #76
Austin246897531 4
If he gets arrested, you know he can defend himself
brackaman 18
If he's getting arrested, I think his shanking tendencies might have something to do with it.
FightMyLiger 19
Maybe a spork would have less penetration potential. Never seen anyone impaled by a spork.
Mossears133 15
What not just a spoon? Not many people get shanked by spoons either
BexBaby86 21
Just be sure to arm yourself with a plate for a shield... pot for a helmet.. Or hell, just be glad you have a good enough spawn if ever a zombie apocalypse!
noelasis94 18
Prison will be kind to him.
chanellgymnast 17
Ursula vs King Tritan.
Xotoolyxo 16
Don't they have starter forks and spoons for toddlers, the ones that aren't so sharp