Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML
Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
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Top comments
SoylentCandycorn 10
Grade A Parenting. Remember this day when you choose his nursing home.
StalkerChick 13
Well, go get ******. In his bed.
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Comments (172)
DogsPaw 16
OP is female.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Wow. Glad I don't have your dad for a parent... my dad pays me to help out around the farm. FYL.
nyxiny 22
I don't really understand. Why should he have to pay you to help out around the house where he is most likely feeding you, clothing you, raising you, and paying for your education?
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Because it's what's called an allowance and he shouldn't have promised to pay OP if he didn't intend to go through with it.
Kuramasan_fml 12
He lied about paying her. He could have just said to clean and mow without making false promises or using foul language.
winkydog4056 16
God dammit! Yes, I did do the Wanky Dog again! Stupid phone....is quite funny, but can't use it
afairshake 8
That was a real dick move and just wow I'd never speak to my son that way FYL
klorehore 24
Perhaps OP got herself into trouble of sorts with her dad recently, parents tend to not like it when you borrow their car without permission or sneak out of the house to go partying.
Kitten_Calderon 14
Well now you can use the excuse you were to short on x amount of cash (that he owes you) to put him in a nice nursing home, OP.
GutterMouth75 1
Tell him that's why you need the money.
KingCross_fml 3
Here is what u do. Piss in the household milk, don't tell anyone. Quietly enjoy your revenge.
firefly319 7
Annnnnnd I read this while eating cereal. >.
lilhellian 27
108 The real term for her would be lesbian or bisexual depending on her preference there But to be one of those two SHE would need to brig home a girl.