Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
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Top comments
HahaHokayThen 10
Haha she came out of the bathroom & sees a random hobo holding her newborn.
catalystics 2
u shouldve ran off with the baby
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Comments (88)
skyttlz 32
wow fyl
RaRaland 8
Is it a newborn baby, or puppy? I like how he says "crate".
Fortuitous 0
No, his baby is Jesus Christ. That's why he called it a "crate." Oh, wait... Jesus was born in a manger. Nevermind, carry on, ducklings. ;)
TryptamineDreame 0
Haha, he called it a crate :)
nocanhaz 4
you should have looked her in the eyes and said, "we made one damn good baby" then walked over and given her a high five
hghiPigh 0
lame
Javee 17
Haha. Hopefully the woman would've washed her hands before OP high-fived her.
darklight549 2
All i can say is pwned
perez758 2
why would you not check the name tag on the bed?
littleteapot 21
or even on the baby's wrist
rockyraccoon28 8
because he must not have had any doubts about being in the wrong room?
BethiiGeex 0
How would you like to see some random man holding your baby. For all you know she could of thought you was going to steal the baby... fhl :l
BroSkii69 8
Hahahahahaha that's like something that would happen in a movie xD
Celesta 11
She flushed and came out without washing her hands?!!
biskitbukit 7
haha, getting all sentimental over someone elses baby!