Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML
Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
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Top comments
stealthkitten 3
haha, that's funny. you better rock that purple eyeliner now ;)
Mielad 0
Make an excuse.. Say someone hit you and your eye is bleeding purple pus and you will die from a horrible disease if you suffer from bullying
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Comments (235)
ImFreeFalling 0
Stereotypical people really piss me off. There are plenty of costumes out there, I'm sure, where the man would have to wear eyeliner and stuff. Shut the hell up with all of these "You're gay" comments kay? :)
wolftastic 0
you're gay!!!
DocBastard 40
Easy there Kay, easy. See how FreeFalling didn't capitalize "kay?" That means he couldn't be referring to you. Just a simple misunderstanding. Now get back in your hole! GET BACK IN!! *grabs whip and bottle of Grey Goose*
DocBastard 40
I said YOUR hole! Hey, stop it! Ow! Wait...a little to the left...
perez758 2
there is make up remover.. just use it :o
ChiTownSharon 4
and your costume is? haha just show of those beautiful eyes they will deffinatly pop.
chasadilla 0
you're a flamboyant man
skreech96 0
apparently you're not a man
Jessie86 3
the fact that you are a "straight" male who knows how to apply eyeliner and i'm a 24 year old female who still hasn't mastered applying eyeliner just......smh.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Who says OP is straight?
brennboo 3
44 sorry haha
Sun_Kissed18 25
And thank you, Lieutenant Sarcasm! FML has a lot of readers from other countries who probably don't keep track of every single American holiday. I know, shocker
brennboo 3
ah! my previous comment didn't show :( I said I agree 44 :) then I wouldn't have to waste so much money on remover
influenced 3
thats why i never (EVR!!!) wear make up. au naturelles. ^_^