Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
BBeffedmylife tells us more.
OP here! Stoked that this got published! A couple of things... This actually happened last year. I had just had my daughter a couple months prior. For those of you who have never had children, it takes awhile to be comfortable with your body after being pregnant and giving birth to baby. Also, for those of you wondering, I am actually a married woman. Married women can still find someone attractive without wanting to get in their pants. I was mostly just flattered that someone was actually taking notice in me after feeling so huge and unattractive for the past year. Thank you so much for the positive comments!! A lot of you made me smile and laugh!
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
le husband shows up, wearing a bane mask "well hello there Mr. UPS man, you should have left my wife alone! Now Let's go for a drive."
746278Ab 14
Haha maybe he's into great moms! No worries, if he still checked you out with stains just image you without them next time!
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Comments (120)
wtfomfgfml 14
Stop milking the situation
stfudonnie 10
milk always does a body good!
Steve95401 49
Got milk?
1dvs_bstd 41
haaaa
OysterPearls 33
I heard that in Japan, the slogan "Got Milk?" translates to "Are you lactating?"
Bluebl4ze 16
The one that Sofia Vergara stars in with her 21 yr old son?? :O That's a disturbing perspective on the ad
alainayes 3
So me
KaneHunter 22
Aw man, so close OP :(
weveallbeenthere 30
even having leaking nipples can still be a turn on for some. a pretty smile and confidence is more of a turn on.
1dvs_bstd 41
On one hand, he received more than he paid for... but .. but you're the customer.. "kif we have a conundrum" Seriously tho, If he cared, he would have given you that "gross" look.. so i think he finds you equally attractive.
ostfaiz 18
he was still childish ;)
BBeffedmylife 28
OP here! Stoked that this got published! A couple of things... This actually happened last year. I had just had my daughter a couple months prior. For those of you who have never had children, it takes awhile to be comfortable with your body after being pregnant and giving birth to baby. Also, for those of you wondering, I am actually a married woman. Married women can still find someone attractive without wanting to get in their pants. I was mostly just flattered that someone was actually taking notice in me after feeling so huge and unattractive for the past year. Thank you so much for the positive comments!! A lot of you made me smile and laugh!
1dvs_bstd 41
le husband shows up, wearing a bane mask "well hello there Mr. UPS man, you should have left my wife alone! Now Let's go for a drive."
johnnydmol 9
#50 this reminds me of southpark..
icnburbbygrl 23
Sounds like you wanted HIS package ;)
Bluebl4ze 16
Last year ? :O...Do the FMLs take tht long to publish or did u pass it off as recent?
BBeffedmylife 28
Because you have to stick to the fml format of "Today, blah blah. FML" , a lot of people submit fmls about things that happened in the past.
Merylwen 24
Well, technically that was flirting. Not that "exchanging smiles" is necessarily flirting, but the way this FML is worded very much implies it is.
Bluebl4ze 16
Still, an year seems a long time to be remembering a random hot UPS guy and two stains
MrConcise 35
@87 - Not at all. It probably felt really embarrassing. I still remember specific times I had damaged hair and was self-conscious about it.
brand125 17
87 - not really, i would remember something embarassing like that. think youre looking too much into it.
tygerarmy 35
Also, it's not a random UPS guy. They have routes, and if you regularly order stuff online, you'll see the same guy.
tygerarmy 35
I delivered for a short while. People regularly flirt with their drivers. My favorite was a girl I regularly delivered to once didn't answer. As I was about to walk away, I heard screaming "Wait, wait, wait! " and she answered the door in a towel. It made my day.
patrickalamo 48
You go girl...
jen1097 25
HAHAHAHAHAHA yes!!!
Iamnotfat 16
@113 The same thing happened to me.. Except she was in her lacey bra and panties... Which were completely see through. Needless to say we were both embarrassed, but man was she hot.
Enslaved 38
Why did God give women nipples? To make suckers out of men.
MrConcise 35
Why do men have nipples? So the person attached looks useful by comparison.
rahulcool7 14
We have nipples because we start out as girls in the early stages of fetus-hood
allie2590 31
102, that went riiiight over your head.
lord_meloetta 20
103, he's right though I have friends who work on studying those things and that's 100% correct.
invadermaythe1st 35
#105 and its gone over your head too....
chosha_fml 27
#103 Because he's giving the correct information doesn't mean he didn't get the joke.
maximus_prime 24
What do breasts and toy train sets have in common? They were both designed for small children but it's usually men that play with them.