Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML

Steady as she goes

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML

Today, I'm at my grandparents' house to help clear snow. I was making a path to the driveway by pushing the snow out of the way. I saw a big pile and went to kick it really hard. Alas, it was a step. FML

Give some, take some

Today, I learned that some days you win, and some days you clean up skunk carcass with a snow shovel, in the rain, in formerly waterproof boots. FML

Today, my car got stuck in a foot of snow. I tried desperately digging around my wheels to see if it would help. I was finally able to get out 10 minutes later only to realize that I had dropped my phone in the snow while I was digging and had run over it. FML

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

Today, the company that was supposed to clear our apartment's parking lot never showed up. I almost got frostbite in my fingers trying to shovel someone's car out since my gloves got soaking wet. FML

Slippery

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML